There is a strange contradiction I’ve been thinking about lately. You can be lonely and still not feel like reaching out to anyone. You can wish you had more people to spend time with while feeling exhausted by the thought of trying to make plans. You can miss having someone to talk to while looking…

Most of us probably don’t begin a friendship by wondering whether it’s reciprocal enough. We don’t meet someone for coffee and keep track of who asked more questions. We don’t count how many times each person initiated a conversation that month or calculate whether the emotional support we’ve given has been adequately returned. At least,…

There was a time when getting in touch with someone required some effort. You called and hoped they were home. You left a message on an answering machine. You wrote a letter and waited days or weeks for a reply. If you made plans to meet someone, you generally decided where and when beforehand because…

There’s a particular kind of loneliness that doesn’t come from being alone. It comes from being with someone — sometimes for years — and still not being fully known. Or worse, from realizing that you never quite showed up as yourself in the first place. That you bent, adapted, went along, and gave so much…

There is a particular kind of quiet that has nothing to do with sound. You can be sitting in a coffee shop full of people, scrolling through a feed full of faces, or living in a city of millions — and still feel it. That low, persistent hum of not quite belonging anywhere. Of being…