A recent conversation stated that I don’t feel that I have any friends. Querying deeper, “of course I have friends,” I responded. It is in the distinction of the value-exchange that I require in a relationship to make that final leap. This isn’t to say there is no value in the people I know; there is plenty.
I enjoy and value all interaction with others. Many of them are friends, and we enjoy each others company and time together. The requisite, for me, that is missing to state that person who is my “friend” (emphasized-meaning) is a deeper level of intimacy.
I question and explore a lot of heady topics. I haven’t met many in my life who care to endure the conversations I require to process more fully. A absorb a lot of information and in the course of a conversation where a listener engages actively, I question and ramble out-loud with their engagement providing a vehicle for me to explore subjects more deeply.
An interesting observation about the past participants, is their ability to listen. For the most part, they had little to contribute other than to make enquiries or share a personal story for perspective once in a while. Looking back, I see what a beautiful thing it was for me. You see, people think I’m visual, others auditory, and yes, I believe I do engage those, though in large part due to the fact that I’m a kinaesthetic learner. I need to actively engage to learn. Sitting and thinking is far less engaging than a conversation. Where do you think I can move faster?
This brings me to Needs versus Desires. Basic human needs are considered food, water, shelter: The basics needed for the human body to survive. Then the perceived message offered and sometimes stated is that everything is either a desire or preference. In suggesting this, a conflict arises that I will explore more, demonstrating that basic human needs are in fact beyond the mere physical requirement to live.