It’s a tragic tale that repeats itself in many families; a child learns that survival depends upon running away. Without an adult to fight or stand behind/beside, the safest recourse is run and hide. These lessons are in themselves not too bad, as the reality in life does yield better results once we’ve learned to walk away. But this tragedy with the child suffering at the hands of bullying or child abuse, has created many broken-winged angels to land upon this earth, knocking them half-senseless.
In the real world, the school of hard-knocks and the business arena of shark-infested pools, one has to learn to both fight back and to stand their ground. I don’t suppose that these deeply injured souls neglect fighting, but I’d wager that many, if not all, have a threshold where they simply back down. Those who’ve sustained unhealthy spans of isolation, even alienation, in their adult lives, are likely suffering from a brokenness that keeps them from reaching any fulfillment of any kind. Instead, they live quiet lives of agony, hoping and wishing that others won’t see it, and that they won’t be exposed; even though they may be completely unaware of what it is that might get exposed.
Fear, is a primal trigger, with thousands of years of success behind it. Not only does the human race thrive, so too are many species alive in their habitat relying upon instinct driven by the need for survival.
When is the time right to recognize we have the ability to stand our ground, and still avoid conflict?
3 comments on Fight Back, Learn to Stand Your Ground
Inherent in taking a stand is the fact that we are affirming something and placing ourselves in a position of assertion to confront whatever summons in us the need for power and control. And I mean power and control in the simplest terms of our choosing the direction and terms in which we live our lives. Hence, I think some degree of conflict (peaceful or not) will be a part of that, as we are asserting ourselves in the face of some view other than our own, and likely because it threatens the core of what we believe and how we act.
The time being right? for me, entailed when I no longer felt I had the power or control to live a healthy peaceful life, and more importantly, raise my children to what I saw was in their best interests. To have the judgement and decision-making power taken away from me little by little, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways (by an oppositional ex-spouse and an inexperienced parent coordinator), when I know how to protect, nurture, and guide my kids in an effort to raise them to be healthy, happy, giving adults, with respect for themselves and others, a sense of propriety and integrity………with all that threatened, I’m taking a stand, and fighting as any mother who loves her children, would.
Otherwise, that “taking a stand” can happen every single day, when one embraces others, expresses and lets them know one’s true self………..the peaceful way…….
I am a shy person who lets people walk over and not fight for what i want. How can I change. I don’t want to be aggressive neither but at the same time I want to fight for my dreams and help others along the way. Any suggestions?
I don’t have a lot of suggestions, no. I do have a starting question, however. Do you exercise? How much?