Filters represent the tint from which we view life, the interference that distorts our audio, and the perspectives that taint our language. I’ve worked through many, and I still have many to recognize and grow through. We’ve all been doing this for a long time at varying rates and by varying degrees. A failure to recognize and control these impulses, perspectives, and opinions can have a negative effect on our relationships due to communication breakdown.
Years ago, I was adamant about a number of values and beliefs that I held dear. Today, I have a number of different ones, and some still the same. Then, I would tell my opinion and repeat myself over and over again, thinking that I had to get the other persons agreement in order to know they understood and accepted what I had to say, or what I believed. Little did I know, I could often be right, and the other person could still be right. It isn’t always just one avenue to truth.
I like to learn through experience, both seeing and doing. I have a good friend who is amazing with his mind and he loves to read. He remembers everything, from theories, book titles, authors, speakers, philosophers, and on and on. He blows me away with the level of knowledge he retains, where in my case, I retain more of the understanding and processes as opposed to all these detailed facts. In conversation, we make a complimentary pair because we recognize that our vision of what we see is from a different lens, and that these different lenses actually support each other and push each of us deeper along our path of learning and integration.
Sometimes, our differences can lead to some frustration. However, I’ve also learned that I can hold back reacting and sit on my observations of the moment for a day or two. What I discover is that as I reflect I can see how we’re saying the same thing even though it sounds or was understood differently. Then we meet again and I explain some of the insights I’ve gained to further explore that subject matter that created a disagreement. This brings both of us to a bigger place than we were before with what we know, how we know, and it enriches and broadens our perspective.
Often, a disagreement is not based upon valid fact, it’s an opinion based upon a previous experience or information picked up along the way. What is often not realized is that there is often more to discover. This isn’t about the first truth or realization being wrong, it is simply that there are more realities than just the one we each live. Incorporating more experiences from more people broadens the mind, opens the eyes, and increases opportunities for relationship and success.
At least, it feels right to me at this moment, and maybe there is more. For the most part, I endeavour to be curious and open-minded about other peoples’ lives and ideas. I do wish to share my own as well, and hope they would eagerly listen as well. Too often, this is not the case and a communication breakdown occurs. This is also where relationships and conversations go shallow in my world, versus the rich experiential relationships, where we are rewarding each others’ curiosities.