From the Archives December 2004
I lay here wanting sleep, yet morbidly fascinated with the mood of my body and the thoughts of my mind reflecting on the state of my being and the state of my community. I see the paradox of existence, with a burning desire to follow a higher call into the battle for spirit; an awesome challenge during a time of such materialism. Our separation from spirit is so complete that our goals are all for personal gain. Our desire for fulfillment seeks to gratify itself by devouring others. He with the most toys wins; a statement that focuses on the survival of the fittest and winning at all costs.
My Being feels the pain of separation. As spirit, we’re here to create and to serve creation. We are happiest when we experience the fruits of such transactions in time. We are meant to soar, to experience the divine through the powerful relationship of love for our fellow man; community. We are not intended for a hedonistic experience. We are here for something far different; we are gifts of Creation for Creation.
Growing up with friends, family, school – the system – we copycat the instructions for a life that we are given. It is a dog-eat-dog world we’re told, look out for number one! But this only happens because we permit it and perpetuate it by accepting it as unchangeable. Did we forget?
We came together to fight tyranny and oppression wielded by one single power wishing to dominate the world. Today, the closest single person with this face is George Bush at the helm of the world’s most powerful country. But the real enemy is faceless, hidden behind the seat of power and wealth that controls the world economies and politics. The real enemy is greed for money and power.
The energy amassing in society today is at a significant crossroads. We will either transcend the fear, reaching a new spiritual order in the world, offering peace and unity as a powerful force for positive change, or, we will succumb to our base fears and desires, witnessing greater numbers of trespasses against other persons, groups, and countries. As well, with the paranoia, we will revert to behaviors of lust, substances, and other hedonistic addictions to block out the pain of our separation from spirit.
Spirit is Love. Love for God. Love for Creation. Love for Self. Love for Others. Love and Spirit are inseparable, clumsy in this material world; clumsy in thought, word, and action, but powerful beyond measure. Love is authentic and truthful; it is not an emotion alone. It is far more: It is a connection to the everlasting source of life. It creates an energetic force that courses through our spiritual being causing a sensation of bursting us wide-open. This divine force, so unknown and untapped in our lifetime overwhelms us with love, blinding us to the intention of the gift. Rather than openly sharing, we wish to hoard the gift and sensation, sharing with no one. The gift of love is to be given, not taken, nor to be solely shared with one single individual. It is a life-giving energy that transcends all situations, elevating the life experience of our spiritual selves.
How do we as simple human-beings, so untrained and under-developed in the spiritual realms, learn to let this powerful force flow? It catches in my being, in my breath, in my heart. I wish to hang onto it, to someone else’s, hoping for it to never change. Other times, it brings such pain. The opening chasm aches for all the pain and hurt being experienced in the world all around me. And yet, I know, and have experienced, the truth of its undying source; it’s ever-flowing ability. If only I could sustain that peak. The paradox of being human and spirit; of wanting more and wanting less; of wanting it all and of wanting nothing; of needing companionship and needing to be alone; of wanting love and yet, to still taste hate.
We have become vicious with one another. There is something wrong. We would rather hold others back or knock them down instead of celebrating their fullest potential, pushing them to success. If only we could see how important each and every one of us is in the grand scheme of things. We could then find happiness in our part and we could fit comfortably into community instead of feeling like a lesser person than the next man.
Where has the balance gone in our existence? We’re all supposed to be children of God, of Creation. If we were not, then nothing on this planet would exist either. God can be whatever you want it to be. I cannot define God. I can call God the Creator, Life Force, Mother Earth (all small views of God), the Universe (may still be too small – what do we know), Energy, Spirit. This entity, unknown to us, defies all human understanding and experience; it just IS.
But children, we have to grow up. We have to stop fighting. We should play nice. What greater miracles can we achieve if only we could do these few simple things?