The last two weeks I have been quietly withdrawn awaiting a solution to thoughts travelling elsewhere.  Now, Sunday a.m. just before noon and I’m contemplating many things while engaged in Online social media activities. Many friends across the country now connect daily with me. With some it’s a game, with others an email or poke, and with the wonderful lady friends I enjoy flirting with, I feel the energy of the game too.  I notice it, the flirtatiousness, the aliveness, the juice and vibrancy of being glad to be alive, and realize how deeply and tragically I’ve missed it these past two weeks. Now how did this happen?

External circumstances affected thought patterns that triggered emotions, which subsequently repeat the cycle, and as more ambiguous data arrives, the creative centre of the writer’s mind continue to take this tail deeper down the rabbit hole. Oh sh1t. I did it to myself. Yes, external circumstances were a significant contributing factor, however, it is my mind and my resources that chased this created reality based upon my interpretations of the external circumstances. The kicker is, sometimes these things are really none of my business.

There may always be justification to look out beyond our sphere to to some problem-solving and find ways to contribute better toward the whole. Turns out, my occupation and nature lend strongly toward problem-solving, to recognizing trouble and trying to avert it before it comes, and so on. A big-picture thinker, in some specific ways a short-term futurist, and someone with a pulse for sensing things. Yes, a hyper-awareness, a hyper-sensitivity that both get me into all kinds of trouble. And wow did I notice it today and how!

Metaphor is the easiest way I can describe this realization. It is so powerful and so simple, and I know it may even be very challenging for me. Take a book and a television. The book is an adventure of life, much like your very own best-lived life and the energy of excitement, eroticism, joy, and your sexual aliveness thrills you to the core spending time with it. That’s where we want to be – where I want to be! – as often as possible, if not all the time. So how do we get out of it?

Television, another metaphor, takes us out of our own life, life-engagement, attention, and awareness and diverts it somewhere else. Flipping through the channels you’re transported everywhere around the world and your surroundings and never land on You. In the same way, this Big-Picture-Thinker-Nightmare is doing just that – particularly when Red Flags are flapping in the wind. Oh crap! But just like television, I have no control what is happening out there, and I can Turn if Off.

I’d been told this before but it didn’t make sense. I couldn’t see how. Turn it off? Then what? Now I see, the missing link: Turn it On. The Aliveness, get Sexy, Feel it Vibe and Thrive. Keep that Juice going. Reality versus Fantasy? Yes, a tough one. I will muscle and stumble through this one, but it seems to me that the trick will be to segment and schedule life so balance allows room for play.

Not having fun yet? Caught up in worrying about the Big-Picture? The issues at Work? Anywhere?

Turn it Off. Now Turn You On.