Ups and downs, good days and bad are all part of living life. It won’t always be easy sailing. This doesn’t even take into account that catastrophe’s do happen in people’s lives. I’m simply talking about getting up and going about the same business you usually do, and just thinking and feeling, “Wow, this is a crappy day!” And you know what? It’s okay.

We aren’t always on top of our game. Take a look at any sports team and watch them, or the athletes, go through streaks and spells regularly. What I’ve noticed in the town I live is how hard the fans are on the team when they perform poorly, let alone for any length of time. With all that negative energy, I wonder how much more difficult it is to pull out of the slide?

Let’s face it; when having an off-day, recall the feeling brought on when criticism is aimed your way. Having the off-day, I’m already being tough on myself. That is a thinking problem getting in the way and exposing the wound even more – just waiting for someone to come along and stick a finger in. And when someone says something, the very words I’ve caught myself saying are reinforced and generate more negativity.

The days I’m more consciously together, I weather the bad day better. I ride the waves, my thoughts aren’t running wild, and I don’t let criticism have anything other than a positive effect – should I choose to entertain the criticism in the first place. That’s not running away from anything either, it’s simply recognizing where I’m at and creating the boundaries that respect that. Doing so also offers better opportunities in the future.

Believe me when I tell you, there is nothing worse than yammering at someone when your thoughts and feelings are getting the better of you. What disturbed me this week though, was something I heard from a seniors facility director: “As we get older we lose impulse control.” I didn’t quite know what she meant by that and asked for clarification.

When she interviews candidates wanting to work with seniors they are always asked, “What do you think of old people?” As soon as an answer, “They’re wonderful!” the interview is over. I was surprised to hear this and inquired further to learn that losing impulse control is about the tongue. Working with old people is very demanding and they can be surprisingly mean, with no curbing of the tongue, and no speed bumps to delivery. You have to know this going in, be prepared for it, and to understand where it comes from.

Impulse control… it may be clinically factual with the elderly, and yet something suggests it is equally evident among the general population and is also triggered by prolong periods of high-level stress. I have no fact, nor done any research to support this theory I’ve just stated. I call it a hunch, and looking at my runaway-mouth at times, I wonder. I smile as I say this, because a large part of what I’ve become is about authenticity.

I won’t say I always get it right, and even in that, I’m acknowledging this striving for authenticity. There are going to be days. Right? Being authentic and having intimate relationships are what I hear more people asking and demanding, while feeling an inability to be real. Talking with these like-minded people, it always links to a lot of belief systems that define what has become of our society, business ethic, political and world affairs.

There has been so much progress and striving for improvement, education, advancement, social status, wealth, and so on for generations. With so much focus on the winning, climbing, and achieving, I wonder if it is simply what I hear in the hints people suggest. “There isn’t enough time. I’m always exhausted. I hate my job. People are cold, or unavailable, or too busy.” The list goes on, I’m sure you’ve heard others. Doesn’t it all speak to a simple need to “relate” to one-another, to build intimate relationships, to experience community, and to know and be known?

The other day, I was reading the Meaning of Life wikipedia and found myself also eventually exploring The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy wikipedia page for Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. This is where the most advanced super-computer churns and churns to come up with the answer. When the answer “42″ is delivered, it leaves more questions than answers. This brings the supercomputer to suggest that they now need to discover the Ultimate Question.

As I read God’s Will and The Meaning of Life a day or so ago, the message again resonated deeply. It is about Love, it is about Joy, and like the people feeling the longing, it is affirmed in their want for intimacy, for authenticity, and in the desire to relate to other human beings. It has me wondering if we’re now at a time, along the journey of mankind, where we can make adjustments for the continued advancement of humankind, society, and see what else good comes from healthy choices.

I’m wondering if isn’t time for us to learn more about being human, beginning with ourselves, and then with others, and adjust culture to embrace our fullness. I found it weird this word fullness forced its’ way in here, and had to reflect on it. The a-ha came almost immediately, recognizing that humanity – you and I – and how we relate will be different. We will create our fullness through these empowering experiences.

There I was hovering over a busy ant-hill when thought I heard something. I leaned in a little closer to see what it was. You won’t believe it, but I’ll share it anyway.

“Do you suppose there is any rhyme or reason to any of this?” Dweedle-Ant posed.

“He He He! Of course, Mant! Of course! Just take a look at that cute little heiny and tell me that ain’t no reason. That’s a reason!” bellowed and guffawed Sext-Ant.

“Sure, if all that matters to you is thorax and antennae, Perv!” stated Iman-Ant. “Of course there is a point to it all, Dweedle-Ant.”

“Each and every one of us is a piece of a larger whole. The whole is the colony. While a colony can continue without us, it is no longer the same colony. The whole keeps changing, and yet, it depends upon us for its own existence. It is the nature of Life. Before the flower came the bud, before the bud came the stem, before the stem-the roots, before the roots-the seed, and after all is said and done, all that was the flower is returned to multiple seeds. These seeds varying in the sum totality of the experiences in the journey of the flower’s life.”

“So, you see, we don’t know and experience the future now. We pour ourselves into the now, knowing that a future self that is the sum of everything before (self-included), and aspires to even greater, will have more of the answers than we have now,” finished Iman-Ant.

Sext-Ant yawns and exhales, “Well you mucks can do whatever you want, or believe whatever you want. Me? I’m just going for more T & A, baby, T & A!” And sauntered off with a howl that dwindled to a chuckle.

Wow! They’re not much different than us, eh?

There I was hovering over a busy ant-hill when thought I heard something. I leaned in a little closer to see what it was. You won’t believe it, but I’ll share it anyway.

“Do you suppose there is any rhyme or reason to any of this?” Dweedle-Ant posed.

“He He He! Of course, Mant! Of course! Just take a look at that cute little heiny and tell me that ain’t no reason. That’s a reason!” bellowed and guffawed Sext-Ant.

“Sure, if all that matters to you is thorax and antennae, Perv!” stated Iman-Ant. “Of course there is a point to it all, Dweedle-Ant.”

“Each and every one of us is a piece of a larger whole. The whole is the colony. While a colony can continue without us, it is no longer the same colony. The whole keeps changing, and yet, it depends upon us for its own existence. It is the nature of Life. Before the flower came the bud, before the bud came the stem, before the stem-the roots, before the roots-the seed, and after all is said and done, all that was the flower is returned to multiple seeds. These seeds varying in the sum totality of the experiences in the journey of the flower’s life.”

“So, you see, we don’t know and experience the future now. We pour ourselves into the now, knowing that a future self that is the sum of everything before (self-included), and aspires to even greater, will have more of the answers than we have now,” finished Iman-Ant.

Sext-Ant yawns and exhales, “Well you mucks can do whatever you want, or believe whatever you want. Me? I’m just going for more T & A, baby, T & A!” And sauntered off with a howl that dwindled to a chuckle.

Wow! They’re not much different than us, eh?

Deserted, alone, with nowhere to go, no place to call home because home is where the heart is, and even with the sea of people littering the cityscape, the silence of abandonment echoes deafeningly in me. Hunger for that connection starves rational thought, fed through years of abuse or neglect, and keeps the solution always just beyond the fingertips of my reality. I know it is there, if only I could reach out and grasp it.

Abandonment issues are troublesome haunts in people’s lives. How they are created is useful for each individual to understand; it helps move through the issues. Even without fully understanding their origins, it is still possible to move through abandonment issues. We often will never know what happened or why with some people in our history, and we need to satisfy ourselves in that knowledge.

Even by the measure of our own lives, we understand that people behave irrationally and very poorly at times. My life is rippled with choices, actions, and words said that defy explanation. Our goal, of course, is to improve upon ourselves each step of the way. Understanding that each generation has been influenced and socialized differently, we can accept their imperfections, and our own, as we all represent a rung in the ladder of progress for the human race, our family, and ourselves. Step-by-step.

Just because someone else failed, doesn’t make us the failure, or them a failure. The hardest thing in the world is to accept what is. Not trying to make it right, not becoming bitter just because we want to make it wrong. It just is what it is. People are people, I have my shortcomings, my family has shortcomings, and as far as I can tell, so do most people that I know. It doesn’t make any of us wrong. We’re doing life together, and in our insignificant ways, our individual journeys impacts the whole, and more-so when we’re connected.

Ongoing abandonment issues, from my studied perspective, resist change. At the very core comes a serious trust issue when confronted with letting-go and relating fully and completely with other people. The guard is up, the radar is (fine-tuned we think, but is) on maximum levels of sensitivity, and the archives are spewing all the old scenarios from the bad-memory-banks in order to prevent the same things from happening again. Nothing happens. Isolation continues. Abandonment is made more real.

God help me, I say in the face of such adversity. Existence requires purpose, purpose requires relationship, relationship inspires the best (and according to the level of relational health) in one another. Relationship can be friendships, spouse or partner, and others in communities we engage. Without any of these, walls cannot come down.

Bringing down the house means knowing these walls are there. It means recognizing them when they come up. It means finding the courage to open up and expose yourself and the fears to experience the event anyway, regardless of the feared outcome. Without DOING IT, the new experiences that will prove otherwise cannot happen. Positive experiences need to happen to restore balance, faith, and trust in self and others. Only you have the key.

Unlock the gate, and start letting that wounded heart beat openly. Hold in check the fears, feel the pain and do it anyway. Let your pain serve to feed your courage. It is simply there to remind you that you are alive, that you are courageous, and that you are on the verge of a major breakthrough experience. Keep letting them in, over and over again.

We all make mistakes, and we all have misunderstandings. Allow this knowledge to serve as a balance-point to create openess even in moments when perceived injustices are occurring. Quite often, the abandonment history has tales that distort the perception of reality. This often leads the mind to believe something is happening that is not. It also hears and understands things based upon experiences of the listener, rather than the intention of the speaker. So allow this openess to communicate, ask questions, give second chances, and give the process time.

Step-by-step, abandonment and trust issues can be overcome, and the peaceful knowledge and comfort that comes from nurturing a garden of friendships blossoming over a lifetime, with death both physical and metaphorical as people come and go, and time passes along with the rhythm of nature’s heartbeat. It is all transient, and we always remain connected on that heart level. Now trust, and let go.

Are we talking customer service, or are we talking sex? When I heard this statement, I couldn’t help thinking of many variations of where this statement could be applied. In the context of the conversation, it pertained to customer relations. The conversation was with a beautiful young woman which conjured up other possibilities.

“CrustyFarts.com would be a good place for that,” she had said.

I was lost on this one. CrustyFarts.com (non-existent yet) is the cantankerous perspective poking holes at the things people say, believe, or do. That said, upon reflection, the cantankerous fool could have a lot of fun with “Keep ‘em Happy, Keep ‘em Serviced, They Stay With You.”

Choose to keep others happy

None of us can be in top-game form every moment of every day. I know, understand, and live this experience many times each day. That said, I am also aware. Noting feelings, thoughts, emotions, and my current circumstances, I can fairly clearly point out what causes me discomfort. More importantly, I can own it and share this if necessary. Also, knowing the source, I don’t have to let it interfere with my personal relationships.

PS, don’t fool yourself about business relationships. They’re personal relationships too.

Exercise Authenticity

This does not mean you have to be a complete open book and confess all your sins past and present. This means to be consciously accountable and open to what is happening in the context of your current relationships and current personal experience of life, emotions, thoughts as you engage and create each day. With this attention to openess, you earn rapport, trust, and intimacy as trust relationships are built upon each successful exchange.

Don’t Think About Right and Wrong

Too often the critic is quick to step in and judge the right and wrong of situations. Authenticity just calls it like it is. Get past the self-preservation desire to create a false image that projects what you think is right, and don’t worry about what others think is wrong. We all make mistakes, and the most effective and powerful weapon you have is to make mistakes well.

Make Mistakes Well

I don’t believe there is anything any of us can do to avoid making mistakes. It’s part of the human experience, of relating, of growing, of learning, and of fun, adventure, and excitement too. Unafraid of the right or wrong, open to the experience of learning and growing, trying new things, and testing the boundaries, the authentic character engaging others will hurt less when the mistake is fessed up. We’re far more capable of explaining our mistakes when we’ve been authentic thus far and people have joined us on our journey. It’s the false-masks and cover-ups that always land us in the most amount of trouble.

Work Hard, Have Fun, and Keep on Working

That is an all-encompassing statement highly relevant to all areas of our life, and I’m going to focus upon relating to others. Whether spouses, customers, peers, friends, or business, opening to this approach at relating to others (in context of the relationship boundaries) will provide ample space for deepening of relationships and loyalty. As with anything in nature, this too is a process and grows over time. Be grateful for every mistake, because each one is a catalyst for growth when we seize the opportunity and have been relating to others well authentically.

Mission Impossible:

Your assignment this week should you choose to accept it: Take note of your false mask, pride and resistance to receive help or be vulnerable and even possibly wrong. Work with the moment, clarity of thought, purpose of word, to engage and express the learning and opportunity in context with the person you are communicating with in that moment.

• Business, keep it professional until take the appropriate steps to deepen the level of rapport. We can only take people where they are comfortable going. Personal integrity will speak frankly, openly, and honestly, in a constructive and solution-oriented manner. You are about success, creating opportunity (from failure), building strong trust-relationships for business and community longevity.
• Personal, my hunch wants me to say stop competing. It’s like we’re all trying to one-up each other and have the latest and greatest fashion, car, music, and friends. Putting that aside and being vulnerable with your close friends, challenging them gently little by little, will create an enriched experience of close relationships with people that really matter. Feeling isolated? Open up.
• Intimate, my soul cries out for women to yield a little to their man, and for men to lift up their woman. I see to much head-butting and a real lack for breaking down the fences and walls we’ve learned to erect to protect ourselves in our families and social circles growing up. Instead of resisting that pain, yield and lean into it, opening yourself up to the opportunity of really experiencing the one truest strongest human desire:

Be Fully Known

Best Friends
Originally uploaded by chefranden

Working and living the coaching profession, and being driven with the thoughts and questions that have fed these writings over the years, it was natural to begin finding emails arriving in my in-box along similar themes. Not always reading them, I’m glad when I do and find a treasure everyone can use and remember.

Quick to judge from surface appearances, we may not realize just how much is going on in another person’s life. Even with all the positives underway, the debris of years of tragedy, and/or pain, and/or health issues, etc., the trials and tribulations can leave the mark on someone, particularly when their life is so much alone.

• Check it out and see who is in your life, in your circle of friends, or struggling at the office, who could use an encouraging word.
• Check it out and realize where you are getting this support in your life and be grateful.
• 
  but I love to hug
  Originally uploaded by Beard Papa

  Or, check out where you’re receiving the opposite from relationships. Time to make changes and weed out those who tear you down, or ensure you have sufficient compensation coming from the positive sides.

• Careful not to cut off your nose in spite of your face though. I’ve also found that friction from others is also a great ‘mover’ and ‘shaker’ when you are stuck. How can you grow by the friction or challenges you face in life, and with others?

Ironically, we “get it” when we have this sort of conversation about how to raise and develop healthy children. What surprises people still today, is that the same is still true, and necessarily needed for adults struggling through hard times on their own. Let someone into your world and heart today. The only reason we’re afraid, is we think we have to be responsible for them. No – you’re responsible to yourself and your conduct, and tomorrow is always another day outside of everyone’s current control. Stop worrying and love now, and watch what will grow.

Here’s the email:

Together
Originally uploaded by Unhindered by Talent

Sometimes we forget to believe in ourselves and we need our friends and lovers to remind us of what makes us special. We can grow out of our darkest holes by being showered with love and kind words.

You are not going to believe this, but someone passed by me — just this second – with a t-shirt reading, “Hugs Not Drugs.” I swear! Talk about messages from the Light. That’s exactly the point. Why do we do drugs and other destructive behaviors? We don’t love ourselves. And that’s the gift our parents, children, friends, and teachers can give us. They can remind us we are loved. As John Lennon sang: love is all we need.

Today, burn through layers of a loved one’s doubt and shame with four simple words: I believe in you.

Tensions run high amidst people sometimes. Being a new body among established people’s relationships is a hairy ordeal. Tonight, a big realization came to light around a deep need that has been burning up my energy through tensions, stress, worries, suspicions, and fears. Normally, these would be manageable and not cause much problem; in this case, existing circumstances did a lot to add to the mess.

One person says something out of turn. It’s tone, delivery, and perceived intent is to warn not to trust someone. On the one hand, this might save from disaster, while on the other hand, this casts doubt on who to trust. This is bad medicine for any organization or team, and must be addressed decisively. Not to kill, martyr, or make examples. This is where the realization of what has really been troubling me suddenly revealed its’ source, value, and desire.

Base-brat growing up, a short military stint myself, and having lived pretty-much from one coast to another in some fashion or other, coming to new communities and trying to “connect” in social groups has been nothing short of painful. Social groups – you know – those little cliques we all had with our friends growing up. When we were with them we followed along, we teased, and sometimes bullied physically. I had to learn to fight back. I never liked it.   Still don’t.
Fighting back is a necessary skill in life. It is a skill that can be robbed of any child or youth – to some degree or another.  When a Father decks you for defending yourself, with the promise of more for any further fighting, you replace your fists with feet in running shoes. The tragedy here is that as an individual in this life, you no longer know who you can trust. The one you ought to trust didn’t protect, and also took away your only form of defence. The one’s chasing you, are ignorant to what they are doing, even though some will fight with a conscience.

I’m sharing this with you tonight because it is critically important to develop a good team. People need to be able to trust one another. I need to know you’ve got my back. You need to know I’ve got your back. When rumour, accusations, and ambiguity arise – particularly for any new staff – and there are no avenues of clear and safe conversation, the sense of safety and security in the new environment gets stretched thinner and thinner with every twist or phrase that could be taken out of context.

Create that lack of safety, create more highly-attuned-and-overly-sensitive people who are on high alert and jumping at every alarm. Having a teammate throw me to the wolves as a scapegoat, having heard a rumour, having circumstances and events create and add to that uncertainty has demonstrated this fact loud and clear. Create a team where everyone truly creates that safe place to screw up, fix up, contribute, speak up, ask dumb questions, and not get laughed at, and you’ll create a powerful and creative unit that can function at higher peaks of concentration, effectiveness, and efficiency.

The military and a few other groups I was privy to join demonstrated strong examples of safe teams and leaders as described. Equally, I’ve experienced the opposite spectrum and some in-betweens, too. Again, communication has always been the key. Sometimes, listening and hearing the tale underneath the reasons reveals a lot of ghastly thoughts regarding misunderstood circumstances that simply needed to be aired. Too often, our defences prevent us from hearing and bringing a relationship closer, and we drive it further apart.

Ironically, creating that safe place to sit and talk, to listen and hear, to discover and build is the very thing we all long for in our heart. To become ALL that we can be, to Be All that we Are: It is to give and receive in such a way that every need is met, and lives are fulfilled. Instead of harbouring uncertainty and ambiguous or nebulous angst, it is given voice to be blown away by the wind of forging a relationship of value. Foundation set, the future rises more powerfully.

Ups and downs, good days and bad are all part of living life. It won’t always be easy sailing. This doesn’t even take into account that catastrophe’s do happen in people’s lives. I’m simply talking about getting up and going about the same business you usually do, and just thinking and feeling, “Wow, this is a crappy day!” And you know what? It’s okay.

We aren’t always on top of our game. Take a look at any sports team and watch them, or the athletes, go through streaks and spells regularly. What I’ve noticed in the town I live is how hard the fans are on the team when they perform poorly, let alone for any length of time. With all that negative energy, I wonder how much more difficult it is to pull out of the slide?

Let’s face it; when having an off-day, recall the feeling brought on when criticism is aimed your way. Having the off-day, I’m already being tough on myself. That is a thinking problem getting in the way and exposing the wound even more – just waiting for someone to come along and stick a finger in. And when someone says something, the very words I’ve caught myself saying are reinforced and generate more negativity.

The days I’m more consciously together, I weather the bad day better. I ride the waves, my thoughts aren’t running wild, and I don’t let criticism have anything other than a positive effect – should I choose to entertain the criticism in the first place. That’s not running away from anything either, it’s simply recognizing where I’m at and creating the boundaries that respect that. Doing so also offers better opportunities in the future.

Believe me when I tell you, there is nothing worse than yammering at someone when your thoughts and feelings are getting the better of you. What disturbed me this week though, was something I heard from a seniors facility director: “As we get older we lose impulse control.” I didn’t quite know what she meant by that and asked for clarification.

When she interviews candidates wanting to work with seniors they are always asked, “What do you think of old people?” As soon as an answer, “They’re wonderful!” the interview is over. I was surprised to hear this and inquired further to learn that losing impulse control is about the tongue. Working with old people is very demanding and they can be surprisingly mean, with no curbing of the tongue, and no speed bumps to delivery. You have to know this going in, be prepared for it, and to understand where it comes from.

Impulse control… it may be clinically factual with the elderly, and yet something suggests it is equally evident among the general population and is also triggered by prolong periods of high-level stress. I have no fact, nor done any research to support this theory I’ve just stated. I call it a hunch, and looking at my runaway-mouth at times, I wonder. I smile as I say this, because a large part of what I’ve become is about authenticity.

I won’t say I always get it right, and even in that, I’m acknowledging this striving for authenticity. There are going to be days. Right? Being authentic and having intimate relationships are what I hear more people asking and demanding, while feeling an inability to be real. Talking with these like-minded people, it always links to a lot of belief systems that define what has become of our society, business ethic, political and world affairs.

There has been so much progress and striving for improvement, education, advancement, social status, wealth, and so on for generations. With so much focus on the winning, climbing, and achieving, I wonder if it is simply what I hear in the hints people suggest. “There isn’t enough time. I’m always exhausted. I hate my job. People are cold, or unavailable, or too busy.” The list goes on, I’m sure you’ve heard others. Doesn’t it all speak to a simple need to “relate” to one-another, to build intimate relationships, to experience community, and to know and be known?

The other day, I was reading the Meaning of Life wikipedia and found myself also eventually exploring The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy wikipedia page for Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. This is where the most advanced super-computer churns and churns to come up with the answer. When the answer “42″ is delivered, it leaves more questions than answers. This brings the supercomputer to suggest that they now need to discover the Ultimate Question.

As I read God’s Will and The Meaning of Life a day or so ago, the message again resonated deeply. It is about Love, it is about Joy, and like the people feeling the longing, it is affirmed in their want for intimacy, for authenticity, and in the desire to relate to other human beings. It has me wondering if we’re now at a time, along the journey of mankind, where we can make adjustments for the continued advancement of humankind, society, and see what else good comes from healthy choices.

I’m wondering if isn’t time for us to learn more about being human, beginning with ourselves, and then with others, and adjust culture to embrace our fullness. I found it weird this word fullness forced its’ way in here, and had to reflect on it. The a-ha came almost immediately, recognizing that humanity – you and I – and how we relate will be different. We will create our fullness through these empowering experiences.

To truly love.

Repeat it, carefully and slowly. Let it sink in. No, really, stop reading for a second and just let the phrase, “To truly love,” really seep into your senses. I want you to feel it and its’ ramifications.

What I noticed as I contemplated the phrase in its’ enormity, was an expanded energy toward embracing every aspect of what exists, both good or bad, without judgement, only pure love and acceptance. Ouch! So, yes, I did notice the expansion sense of this idea, and I also noticed that when it extended to areas that create a sense of uncomfortable vulnerability, I pull back.

To truly love.

Your life no longer holds the same importance for you. It hasn’t become anything less either. Instead, your ability to embrace, love, accept and understand for all that exists, so also does your relationship to everything. This is magical, and holds consequences of merit. To simplify, as an example, I could suggest that we become less petty. I know it sounds shitty, and yet, somehow it holds some truth. I can be rather petty at times. And really, what did I ever gain from my pettiness? Where on the other hand, I have been generous with discernment and life’s rewards have multiplied.

There may not be a simple equation; the human experience is far too volatile at times. However, the positive experiences we create from within our own emotional power generates tremendous opportunities for health, well-being, clear-thinking, solutions, meeting the right people, and accessing dreams, desires, and goals far more effortlessly. Even in observing the experience of a bad mood versus a good mood, it is clearly recognized which is preferred and beneficial.

Shits gonna happen. Lots has happened to me. I’ve been a cynic, a sourpuss, suspicious, and paranoid. Yet, throughout it all I was plagued with memories of positive personal experiences. I neglected to utilize their power early in the game. Let it all out, get there quicker, and avoid the mistake I made. There is still a lot of Life to Live.

God Bless You All

Remember that each person and event may possess a precious gem hidden inside. Make a conscious effort to find it. Challenge yourself and discover what is good about every relationship. Practice looking at the world through the eyes of the Divine, whatever that may be for you. Allow your imagination to perceive the spiritual or evolutionary potential in every person and experience.

Look with the eye of a loving parent or companion upon the people and things you come into contact with. Make a conscious decision to approve of and delight in even the quirky developments that make the world turn. No one can be perfect at such unconditional acceptance, and yet the practice will sweeten your day to day life. Your magnetism will increase and more loving people may enter your life. The whole world will benefit as this becomes second nature to you.

Quotes

“Love cures people—both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.” ~ Dr. Karl A. Menninger

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us “universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to enhance all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ~ Albert Einstein

“We do not wish to be better than we are, but more fully what we are.” ~ V.S. Pritchett

“The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.” ~ Mark Twain

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” ~ Mark Twain

“These then are my last words to you: be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” ~ William James

“I believe that the rendering of useful service is the common duty of mankind, and that only in the purifying fire of sacrifice is the dross of selfishness consumed and the greatness of the human soul set free.” ~ John D. Rockefeller, Jr.

“I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal because he will endure: that when the last ding-dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet’s, the writer’s, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet’s voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.” ~ William Falkner – Nobel Prize Banquet speech after recieving the Nobel Prize for Literature (10 December 1950)

“To accomplish great things, you must not only act but also dream, not only dream but also believe.” ~ Anatole France

In summary, the acknowledgement

• that we are spiritual beings (meaning more than meets the eye),
• the power of love, the effort to master love and pain to be endured in loving,
• our journey through life to truly discover who we came here to be,
• the nature and truth about the value and importance of humankind’s inter-dependence,
• our unique power as creative-beings to have more creative power and ability for our future than we truly realize….

Now you may have noticed a couple of quotes, mainly from Mark Twain, demonstrating a darker side to man. That is important in the list as well; without the awareness and acknowledgement of our darker side, we are never truly free from it’s prison. It is in embracing your darkness that you can erase the shadows by exposing them to the light. Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself, and subsequently empower yourself.