How we achieve happiness can be different for each one of us. Our passions, expectations, life experiences, and even our personalities all contribute to the level of happiness we experience in our lives. Some people find happiness in their careers while others prefer the bliss found in their marriages or other intimate relationships.

No matter how you define happiness for yourself, there are certain universal and time-proven strategies to bring, and sustain, more happiness into your life. These 15 timeless secrets of happy people can be adapted and even customized to fit your needs. Over time, these strategies will become positive and life-changing habits that will begin to bring more happiness, joy and peace into your life.

1. Notice What’s Right
   Some of us see the glass as being half-full, while others see the glass as half-empty. The next time you are caught in traffic, begin thinking how nice it is to have a few moments to reflect on the day, focus on a problem you have been trying to solve, or brainstorm on your next big idea. The next time you get in the slow line at the grocery store, take the opportunity to pick up a tabloid magazine and do some “guilty pleasure” reading. Take all that life throws out you and reframe it with what’s right about the situation. At the end of the day, you will be more content, at peace and be happy. Take the time to begin to notice what’s right and see the world change.
2. Show Gratitude
   How many times do you say the words “thank you,” in a day? How many times do you hear these same words? If you are doing the first thing, saying the “thank yous,” the latter will naturally happen. Learn to be grateful and you will be open to receive an abundance of joy and happiness.
3. Remember the Kid You Were
   Do you remember how to play? I’m not referring to playing a round of golf or a set of tennis. I’m talking about playing like you did when you were a child – a game of tag, leap frog, or street baseball when the bat is a broken broom handle and the bases are the parked cars. One way to find or maintain your happiness is to remember the kid you were and play!
4. Be Kind
   There is no question that by merely watching acts of kindness creates a significant elevation in our moods and increases the desire for us to perform good deeds as well. Kindness is indeed contagious and when we make a commitment to be kind to ourselves and to others we can experience new heights of joy, happiness and enthusiasm for our lives.
5. Spend Time with Your Friends
   Although an abundant social and romantic life does not itself guarantee joy, it does have a huge impact on our happiness. Learn to spend time with your friends and make the friendships a priority in your life.
6. Savor Every Moment
   To be in the moment is to live in the moment. Too often we are thinking ahead or looking ahead to the next event or circumstance in our lives, not appreciating the “here and now.” When we savor every moment, we are savoring the happiness in our lives.
7. Rest
   There are times when we need the time to unwind, decompress, or to put it simply, just “to chill.” Life comes at all of us hard and fast. Time, as do the days on the calendar, keeps going forward at its own natural pace, which is not always the pace we would choose. Fatigue, stress and exhaustion may begin to settle in on us faster than we may think, or notice. The best remedy for this is indeed rest.
8. Move!
   The expression a “runner’s high” does not infer an addiction, but a feeling or a state of mind – a state of euphoria. There is no question exercise, or any physical exertion, elevates your mood and enhances a more positive attitude as well as fosters better personal self-esteem and confidence. Indeed, one way to increase your happiness is to move!
9. Put on a Happy Face
   Sometimes we have to fake it until we make it. I’m not suggesting that we not be honest, real or authentic, but I’m suggesting, sometimes, we just need to put on a happy face and keep moving forward. Researchers claim that smiling and looking like we are happy will indeed make us happier. Studies further show that if we act like we are happy then we can experience greater joy and happiness in our lives.
10. Pursue Your Goals
    The absence of goals in our lives, or more specifically avoiding to pursue our goals, makes us feel like we are stuck and ineffective. The pursuit of goals in our personal lives, in our relationships, or with our careers, is the difference between having a mediocre life or a life full of passion and enthusiasm. Pursue your goals and watch your happiness soar.
11. Find Your Calling
    Some find meaning in religion or spirituality while others find purpose in their work or relationships. Finding your calling may be much more than accomplishing one simple strategy for increasing your happiness, but having a sense of purpose – of feeling like you are here for a reason – can perhaps bring the greatest joy of all.
12. Get into the Flow
    Flow is the form of joy, excitement and happiness that occurs when we are so absorbed in an activity we love that we can lose ourselves and time seems to stand still. What creates flow is unique to each one of us. To find and sustain true happiness in our lives, we must get off the sidelines and get into the flow.
13. Play to Your Strengths
    One way to achieve flow is by understanding and identifying our strengths and core values, and then begin to use these every day. Once we aware of our strengths and we begin to play to your strengths we can better incorporate them in all aspects of our lives.
14. Don’t Overdo It
    Know when to say when. What gives you joy and happiness the first time may not work the second time. Too much of a good thing may begin not to feel as good if the “thing” becomes more of a routine, or an expectation. Set healthy and reasonable boundaries for yourself and don’t overdo it.
15. Appreciate What You Have
    Want exactly what you have and know that what you have can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Hold on to it, treasure it, and let it cover you with love, comfort and happiness.

Written on 10/02/2010 by Alex Blackwell. Alex writes for his incredible readers at The BridgeMaker, an honestly-written blog about faith, inspiration and personal change. To receive twice-weekly articles subscribe here.

Photo Credit: Scarleth White

Have you ever felt that it’s hard to meet like-minded people? Such as, people with the same interests. Or, people with common goals and aspirations. And last but not least, people with whom you can build a rapport and camaraderie with.

I do, sometimes. While I love and appreciate every single one of my friends, sometimes I wish they share some of my passions, so we could bond over them. For example, I blog full-time as part of my business – I spend at least 5-6 hours managing and writing at my blog. On the other hand, none of my friends so much as own a personal blog, much less partake in professional blogging. I’m also self-employed, and self-manage my schedules and working hours. On the other hand, most of my friends work in 9-5 jobs, which are great, but our different visions in our careers made it hard to have a meaningful discussion in the area. Rather than constructively build off each others’ ideas which only someone with related background can do, most of the time it’s more of a “listen”, “nod”, “ask a simple question” routine.

While it may seem tough to meet like-minded people sometimes, remember that there are ultimately 6.8 billion people out there in the world. Out of this group, there’s going to be at least tens of thousands of people who at least share a common interest with you! It’s not about meeting just one specific person who shares all your interests, but about opening yourself to different people who share at least a common interest. Meeting like-minded people doesn’t have to be hard – it’s about taking the right steps. Here are 7 tips to meet like-minded people:

1. People you know
   It may not seem intuitive, but your immediate circle of contacts is a great way to meet like-minded people. Have you heard of the 6-degrees of separation? It’s the idea that anyone on Earth is connected to each other via 6 degrees of contact, or less. In fact, with the internet, it’s probably less than 6 degrees. How does this idea help you meet like-minded people? Firstly, if your friends have similar interests as you, they probably know many other people who have the same interests too, since birds of the same feather tend to flock together. Secondly, even if they don’t share your interests, they might know someone who does. Even beyond that, word of mouth is an excellent referral tool – by just asking around and extending to 2nd degree, or 3rd degree contacts, you might find yourself a list of like-minded new friends.




2. Your Workplace
   The second place which most people overlook is their workplace (or school, if you’re studying). This is applicable if you’re in a career that you enjoy, and a company which you like. Why do I say so? Every company, especially long-standing ones, have a regimented set of recruitment criteria, which includes certain personality traits and hard skills. For you and others to be recruited in the same company, that means all of you share core similarities. Not only that, being part of the same company means you’re part of a bigger culture, sharing same knowledge and thinking patterns (to a degree).

   Many of my best friends today came from my previous workplace. Before I started working there, most people I know had passive, negative orientations toward life. I wished to know more people who were more forward looking. My previous company was specific in recruiting people who were driven and self-motivated, so when I entered the company I found myself surrounded by a sea of people who were very talented and driven. It was like a dream come true. In the end I forged many valuable friendships in my 2 years there, which continued to stay on even after I left later on to pursue my passion in personal development.

3. Clubs and Communities
   Existing clubs and communities are a great way to quickly meet like-minded individuals. See each community as a central hub that attracts people with the same interests. For example, a writers club would attract people who are interested in writing, whether on a recreational or professional level. Online forums and communities on Linked in and Facebook are a great way to start off. Offline communities will include meet-up groups, recreational clubs, interest groups, related classes and membership societies. I took up Japanese as a third language when I was in school and later when I graduated, and each time I met a group of people who were passionate about Japanese language, its culture and also anime. It was fun connecting on a deep level on those areas, where the regular person wouldn’t know much about them. Check out Meetup.com, which is a great resource for interest groups. If you’re shy about meeting new people, these 10 useful tips to make new friends might come in handy.
4. Start a blog
   This one isn’t exactly instant, and it’s probably not a tip most people will use, but it definitely works. I started The Personal Excellence Blog 2 years ago, sharing my best advice on how to live life in excellence. While it started off with 0 readers (as with all websites), it quickly grew. With each person that visited the blog, the ones who were interested in personal growth and conscious living stayed on and subscribed to the newsletter. Many of them would silently read my articles, while a small handful would reach out to connect, via the comments, email, Facebook or Twitter.

   Today, I’m lucky to be connected with a buzzing community of over 10,000 like-minded readers who are passionate about personal growth and living a better life. In the past 2 years, I’ve been contacted by over a thousand different people, some for business purposes, some for networking, and many just reaching out to connect. I would meet up with a small handful of them, even international readers (who fly in to Singapore, where I live). In fact, this week I’m meeting a fellow reader and blogger from overseas, and next month I’ll be meeting a reader-turned-friend from Thailand as well! Many of these new friends are amazing people that I’d never have had the opportunity to know otherwise, if not for the blog.

   When you run a blog, others know about how you are like, based on what you write and how you write. The like-minded individuals who enjoy and appreciate your thoughts will stay on for more, while those who don’t will eventually leave. Before you know it, you’re in the company of a huge community of like-minded individuals, who are diverse in their own ways at the same time.

5. Networking events/Meet-Ups
   I’ve been to a number of networking events and some of them can be quite pointless, degenerating into empty mingling and name card exchanging. However, there are valuable networking events out there, and it’s about picking the ones that meet your needs. Different networking events attract different audiences, so carefully choose the ones that you go to. What are the kind of people you are interested in? Who are the people you’d like to meet? Pick the events most relevant to them.




6. Attend a related workshop/seminar
   A workshop or seminar is essentially a gathering of like-minded individuals who wish to achieve a common objective. Else, the individuals wouldn’t invest time or money in the workshop. Check out the workshops out there, whether on the internet, online communities or newspapers. If you’re reading Dumb Little Man, you are probably interested in personal development. There are many hundreds of high quality self-help workshops out there – simply attending to any one will allow you to meet other people who are passionate about personal development as well. I’ve only attended a couple of self-help workshops to date, and just from the workshops alone I’ve befriended over 30 like-minded individuals and have developed great relationships with a number of them.




7. Reaching out to them
   Direct, 1-1 contact is a targeted and efficient approach. With social media and internet today, it’s now extremely easy to do this.
   • Linked in: You can search within a certain industry or specialization, which will bring up a select group of people. After that, you can read more about their profiles and connect with each individual on a personal level.
   • Facebook: Browse interest groups and check out members in the groups.
   • Blogs: Check out blogs on topics of your interest. See if the writer is someone you’ll be interested to connect with.

   While some might feel weird doing this, it’s quite commonplace today, and many use it for networking purposes. You probably won’t get responses from all of them, and it’s okay too. Be genuine and polite in your message. Introduce yourself, how you know about him/her, your interest in connecting and why. You never know who you might meet in the process.

How about you?

Which tips can you use to meet new like-minded friends? Do you have any tips of your own on meeting like-minded individuals? Feel free to share in the comments area.

Written on 9/27/2010 by Celestine Chua. Celestine writes at The Personal Excellence Blog, where she shares her best advice on how to achieve personal excellence and live your best life. Get her RSS feed directly and add her on Twitter @celestinechua. If you like this article, you will enjoy one of her top articles: 101 Things To Do Before You Die.

Photo Credit: Kiran Kumar G

A recent conversation stated that I don’t feel that I have any friends. Querying deeper, “of course I have friends,” I responded. It is in the distinction of the value-exchange that I require in a relationship to make that final leap. This isn’t to say there is no value in the people I know; there is plenty.

I enjoy and value all interaction with others. Many of them are friends, and we enjoy each others company and time together. The requisite, for me, that is missing to state that person who is my “friend” (emphasized-meaning) is a deeper level of intimacy.

I question and explore a lot of heady topics. I haven’t met many in my life who care to endure the conversations I require to process more fully. A absorb a lot of information and in the course of a conversation where a listener engages actively, I question and ramble out-loud with their engagement providing a vehicle for me to explore subjects more deeply.

An interesting observation about the past participants, is their ability to listen. For the most part, they had little to contribute other than to make enquiries or share a personal story for perspective once in a while. Looking back, I see what a beautiful thing it was for me. You see, people think I’m visual, others auditory, and yes, I believe I do engage those, though in large part due to the fact that I’m a kinaesthetic learner. I need to actively engage to learn.  Sitting and thinking is far less engaging than a conversation. Where do you think I can move faster?

This brings me to Needs versus Desires. Basic human needs are considered food, water, shelter: The basics needed for the human body to survive. Then the perceived message offered and sometimes stated is that everything is either a desire or preference. In suggesting this, a conflict arises that I will explore more, demonstrating that basic human needs are in fact beyond the mere physical requirement to live.

My occupation as a coach has been an up and down struggle as other life circumstances dictated many lessons. This has been instrumental in exploring the inner experiences, thoughts, and emotions, and relating that in words unique to my experiences or insights. I do so in the best way that I can at that moment, trusting that the right people will connect to what is said. It just doesn’t for everyone.

Nonetheless, there is something for everyone. And the journey of exploring the human animal continues, and the social world we endeavour to keep in place. With the advances of Internet, communication, blogging, and interacting, more and more people are spending time on the Internet than they are in front of a television. Having my career so closely tied to the inner exploration, and a previous occupation in technology, my use of the tools as they’ve come online is a natural.

After many years of engagement online, exploring the human condition, and utilizing technology – always preferring the better UI and service offering combinations – I am discovering an occupational opportunity. You can follow along with this other natural path for those interested in using technology and the Internet to have their voices heard, or their business and services made more accessible.

I was just reviewing the search terms from my WordPress stats service. It touches my heart seeing the search terms, as I wonder at the quality of people and the hope for humanity and our future. Check it out:

Yesterday

2008-01-13

2008-01-12

2008-01-11

2008-01-10

2008-01-09

In the world of metrics and search engine traffic, these may not be big numbers, but they’re certainly big enquiries. I hope you found what you were looking for.

Reputations are vanishing with the click of a mouse. The risks of social networking can impact any individual, company and brand. Sites like Facebook and MySpace are being checked by employers, recruiters and clients – and they’re about to become more easily searchable. While the risks can be devastating, when social networking is managed thoughtfully, the benefits to companies and brands can be rewarding.

clipped from Techvibes Blog, Online Reputation Management in Vancouver

Forty-three years old, and I have worked 26 of those years full-time. Beyond that, I worked part-time all through my teen years, beginning with a paper-route. Well, you can imagine as a kid I would goof up quite regularly. I’m sure I left many customers either stifling a laugh, fuming, or shaking their head in amazement.

In the military, the business of building a cohesive unit strips the individual to create a piece of the whole. A man surrenders his freedom to bond with a woman, and become a father. A woman surrenders her freedom to bond with a man, and to bear children. Individuals born and raised in families identify with the group. Foibles, goofs, and gaffs embarrassed everyone, kept us humble and human. And then something changed.

What exactly changed and how is somewhat of a mystery to me. In a big way, my own experience really speaks to an age of individuality. I’m not sure if I’ve got the right read on this just yet, so lets just play with it loose and fast, rather than getting hung up on technicalities just yet. Take a look over the last 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, or even 50 years, and the changing social landscape speaks volumes about what is happening.

The sciences offer a great deal of information that synthesized can reveal the social impact of the time period, the affect of politics on the consciousness or psyche of the people, literature reveals much as well, also exploring the emotional undercurrents and philosophies of an encapsulated period of time in a culture. And looking back, a shift and change has pronounced what we have become over recent decades, and the longing in the heart of people everywhere echo the want for more authentic and intimate relationships.

And now technology drives a wedge even further into the divide business, people, consumers, markets, money-lenders, employers, employees, unions, governments… wait… what is going on? Judgement. The worst kind of thing is happening that we wish children would stop doing in schools: Bullying, Peer Pressure, Picking On, Singling Out, Ridiculing, Fighting. Need I go on?

People everywhere, at every single level of business, market, government, service, religion, and so on and so forth had better start realizing that everyone is simply human, and that we’re all simply here to do life together. The restriction on human freedoms is strangling the life and vitality of people all over North America, and has been killing people world-wide for centuries. We are at a time in our lives when more and more people are supposed to be waking up to the truth and enacting powerful and positive changes in their lives.

Live the Life, Love the Joy, and Bless the Pain… this is just the way it is:

There but for the Grace of God, go I.

Case Sample: Boston Legal

So, you nincompoops who want to make a case out of the messy games the Internet trails leave I say, “Shame on you! I wonder what messes live in your closet to shame you so much to reach such harsh critical judgement upon the lives of others and the games they chose to engage as curiosity suits?”

Life, after all, is to be explored.

Sitting at Tinseltown Starbucks, a young-looking 35 year-old man approached asking a question. Well groomed and dressed, the mannerisms and speech seemed incongruent with the shell. Being curious, rather than avoiding, it was discovered that a long history of abuses crushed his spirit leading to drug and alcohol abuse. Having recently cleaned up, his ties and relationship to the Downtown Eastside, and particularly people he cared about, was creating an internal conflict of wanting to rescue them versus saving himself. The trapdoor was waiting to pull him back in.

Speaking further with him, it is apparent there is a lot more going on in the lives of many of these unfortunate people. Abuse is a pattern established early in life, and abuses take many shapes and forms. The city and our Vancouver society has struggled for years with how to deal with the problems. There is an undercurrent attitude that suggests people get what they deserve. Unfortunately, this doesn’t rectify the problem, and rarely will it empower anyone to create change. Judgement is what typically leads people to accept their failure and fall deeper into the patterns of abuse.

Rather than encouraging the young man to follow his heart and rescue these other ghosts of the Eastside, the suggestions left with him were to focus on his healing first and foremost. Get the help that is available, stay with the program, get away from the environment, don’t worry about anyone else, and get re-training. His passion and caring were obvious and if he successfully pulls himself out of this nightmare life he has helped create, he could be a potentially valuable resource for the DTES and its’ population in need of recovery.

Saying good-bye he said, “Thanks for taking the time to listen and hear me. Most people don’t treat me this way.” His eyes were sad and downcast. Let’s hope he is one of those who will make it.

Okay, I admit it. Sometimes I can come across as arrogant. In fact, sometimes I probably am acting arrogant. How else could I recognize what I’m about to write?

Recently, I became involved with an organization building community. This transition didn’t come easily for me, having to overcome a number of personal challenges. We could likely agree that challenges are humbling experiences and great growth and learning periods. I’d also say the influence of the time strengthened core values for humanity. So building community is significant to values for humanity.

Engaging in the role, I reach out to members of the community seeking to build bridges, add harmony, increase participation, elevate exposure through promotion, and create win-win for residents, businesses, associations, and neighbours. And why not? That is, after all, what we are here for: To do life together!

So what of the people intent upon their social status, material wealth, personal image, and so on? Don’t get me wrong! I like to dress well, feel good, have a few dollars in my pocket, and have a place that I fit in the world around me. What I’m saying is that I do enjoy these things and want to include and enjoy the ride with others. I just don’t get the guy, gal, person who has blood circulation to the brain sucking the life our of their heart.

Whatever position, wealth, health, etc., life offers you, treat it with respect. In other words, treat yourself and every living thing, person, or opportunity with equal respect. The adage easy come, easy go comes from the wise men and women before who tumbled from great heights. Open the heart, lead with the heart, and forget that idea that something outside of your living body makes you any more special than anyone else.

Love and Life are worth it.