Hello visitors, readers, friends, and everyone.

My old website had long since outgrown me. I felt stuck with it and, ironically, I felt stuck with my career and my life. The breaking point came with a break too!

There I was the day before Halloween, 2006, a gimp lame duck with a broken wing, not even able to lift a cup of coffee with my right hand while my arm was supported by a sling. Days, weeks, and months slipped by and business slipped with it and the dark drizzly days of winter rain enforced an already self-imposed isolation. I was finding it difficult to see through the limitations this injury gave to my experience.

By the time the new year rolled around, my situation had become dire. Work I used to rely on during my slow season, I was no longer physically capable of doing. Sitting too long on the computer added new complications to the joint and surrounding muscle tissues. All I could do was fret over what that next move would be enabling me to survive. This is when some people pushed me to face the mirror of my false pride.

Since then, I’ve been getting the help I need. I’ve pushed harder for the medical establishment to investigate more deeply into the shoulder. Almost a year later I should not be experiencing any ongoing pain. I do, almost daily. The push got me in to an MRI which revealed a “hot spot” and the Doc wants to do another MRI. Suspicions are that physical effort with the separation weakened joint caused an injury to some sort of connective tissue / sac in the socket. They will inject a dye to observe for leakage during the next MRI.

The medical stuff slowly on track, I sought assistance to discuss the bigger issues I’ve been shouldering on my own these past number of years. Loss of relationship – a big one, a job-loss – another big one, health crisis – oops, another biggie, and ongoing financial struggle – there were some brief reprieves along the way. Now, I’m just glossing over a continuum here. Anyone who has, or knows someone who has gone through some serious losses and/or changes that have significant emotional impact, knows that these can take considerable time to heal – even when dealing with one, let alone a half dozen!

Now I speak to someone regularly to process all that has been transpiring. It’s a time to give it voice, to explore the depth and breadth of meaning, emotions, causes and effects, and see where it is leading on the path of life. All significant events bear upon the future that will be lived. We see this often as occupations shift according to values and experiences shift values. And honestly, the raw emotions from all of this has left me feeling rather vulnerable. I don’t have the same mental toughness — it’s different now.

While I don’t have the same mental toughness though, I’ve found that I have a stronger character. What I mean by this is, that even though I may be overly sensitive at times, I also have a strength at staying with it – not giving up, giving in, or avoiding the emotion, situation, people, places, etc. I have done these things, yet less and less so. A new buzz-word going around now to describe these sort of people is Highly Sensitive People. Take the Self-Test.

So, yes, there is a lot in transition right now. I’m glad to be receiving some help from various organizations, people, etc., as it is enabling me to nurture and heal, to not sit home pondering it all, but to instead continue to explore ways to be involved. You can see some of the stuff I’m volunteering at under the Projects page.

See you next time!