“We are made to persist. That’s how we find out who we are.” — Tobias Wolff, Writer

The interesting thing about success is that anyone can do it. If you simply do what successful people do, you are inevitably going to be successful. Right? Well, ok, maybe it’s not simply a case of follow the leader. However, I can tell you that settling for ‘good enough’ is not the way to succeed.

Those that settle for good enough will regret their decision sooner or later and yearn for more. Good enough is simply never, well, be good enough.

Despite what the gurus tell you, there is no master secret or plan. There is however something else, something that is easily overlooked. It’s your brain, your vision and your passion. The ideal combination of those ingredients will help you supremely in life and believe it or not, success will follow if you figure this out.

Within this process, there are a ton of variables to consider. We’re going to talk about five major ones here.

1. Clarity
   First, you have to know what you want. It’s not enough to go after a profession that pays well. Making money your #1 priority will destroy your soul. It will leave you unsatisfied and miserable. Why do you think so many people have seemingly great jobs that pay well, but are still deeply depressed and unfulfilled?

In order to discover what you want, you have to first discover what you don’t want. This can only be accomplished by trying, experimenting, and taking massive action. When you start, you will always be confused and unclear. As you keep moving forward, you will feel inspired to take action in one direction instead of the other.

If you follow your heart, your life will not only become a fascinating adventure, but a journey of personal growth.

• Focus
  Once you become clear about what you want to do, it’s important that you focus on the tasks that help you make the most progress. For example, if you’re building an online business, you can spend all the time you want checking email, but it won’t get you closer to the goals that truly matter in your life.

An online business is not a business until a sale is made. In order to make sales, you have to create products, recommend products, build an email list, and do work that matters. It’s hard work and often uncomfortable, which is why most people avoid it. If you can discipline yourself to work on high-value tasks, your life will change for the better.

• Goal Setting
  Goal setting gives your mind something to focus on. Our brains are goal seeking mechanisms. If you don’t give your mind something to go after, it won’t know what to do.

When you have a goal, you will feel clear, motivated, and inspired to take action, because you know where you are going.

A simple way to set simple goals is to ask yourself where you want to be twelve months from now. Use the SMART criteriafor setting goals, which stands for

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Realistic
• Timely

If you’re starting an online business, a good goal might be to get it to $1,000/month in 12 months. After you have that goal, you can start brainstorming how to attain that goal.

• Action
  Once you’ve set your goal, it’s time to start taking massive action. Most successful people are positive. They face the same amount of challenges as anyone else. The only difference is that they view their failures differently. They know that by trying many things, they will succeed sooner or later, while unsuccessful people tend to give up before they’ve even started.

If you want to succeed at anything, you have to become relentless.

• Trial & Error
  Becoming successful is all about trial and error. The more you fail, the faster you will succeed. Keeping with our online business example, the way I succeeded in creating an online income was to be willing to try different things until I succeeded.

This doesn’t mean you should jump from thing to thing before you’ve given it a chance. Believe me, I’ve been there and done that, and it doesn’t work.

What you should do is pick one thing that has been proven to work, and make it work. It doesn’t matter if you make $50/month or $500/month. The important thing is that you stay focuseduntil you make it work.

Action Steps
I want to leave you with a few action steps you can take right now to improve your life and the probability that you will succeed. So grab a pen and a piece of paper and get ready. By doing the simple exercises below, you will be much more likely to get what you want.

Remember, you can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want in the first place.

1. Get clear about what you want. What is the final result you are after? Do you want better relationships, financial independence or something else?

• Set a Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely goal. Write down 10 things you want to accomplish in the next 12 months.

• Write your most important goal at the top of a blank sheet of paper and brainstorm ways to make it happen. Do this until you feel you can’t come up with any more ways, then push yourself to come up with more.

Anyone can become successful. There are no excuses. You can manifest your wildest dreams if you truly want to.

Written on 5/7/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: Find Your Passion in 5 Days or Less. And if you liked this article, you will enjoy one of his top articles: 77 Great Quotes That Will Change Your Life.

Photo Credit: baileyraeweaver

from the archives 2005

Had a thought today: What good is it to be a prude? I really can’t help but to ask such a question. Let’s examine this word, this character; the prude.

Definition of prude is: excessively (often affectedly) squeamish or sexually modest person.

Hmm, not a very promising existence. So much of our society has stifled our sexuality and all the pleasures, responsibilities, hurts and all, that it’s no wonder we’re so dysfunctional and at the throats of the oposite sex, not to mention fundamental religion versus those who rely heavily on the forgiveness of sin. I wonder how much healthier we might be if we understood and embraced our sexuality, desires, and differences.

The Differences

The unique and complimentary forces within each individual, between the opposite sex, and different cultures. The honor and respect given to the difference of the other, the more honor and respect we also give to ourselves. It’s important to note those two words, honor and respect, because those two words are the way you behave and allow you to question established belief systems that fail to honor and respect individual health and freedom.

How much happier, healthy, and stable could we feel with our own identity? No longer in crisis we find our place and power in relationship with our self, our partner, our colleagues, but also community. As we afford more honor and respect to unique identities, their differences, the easier it is for us to find that comfortable identity in community and see one’s own value. To value yourself is the greatest gift you have to give to the world. Imagine what you would accomplish.

Desires

Where the fantasy lives. Our minds are highly creative, creating story-lines, beliefs, and images. We’ve all seen so much in the media, the theatre, and news that has been distorted into some grotesque to exquisite state. The power of association, with standards for each image that we have labeled them black or white. We’ve created such a heavy burden on our creative thoughts that we fail to bring these thoughts to powerful use by teaching growing people in the positive power of a responsible expression of their sexuality, including the fantasy life. These are aspects of who we are as human-beings.

The foundation of humans is language; our ability to communicate. That means to listen, really hear, and speak with curiosity rather than judgment. Our curiosity is not just for the benefit of learning about the other, but also for you to learn about you. Increased self-awareness brings learning and understanding of oneself. This is valuable in its application to real situations. You would be more empowered daily. Oh, but the power our civilized culture could then realize as these expressions, created through responsible and powerful communication skills, would bring us closer together.

The more we lie to ourselves, the more we deny ourselves, the more we judge ourselves, and the more walls we build up. These walls also separate us from one another. So what would it take?

Sexuality

You can see as this has been written, it has evolved into the truth that our sexual health is an important element long overdue in its need for freedom to be realized. There are such extremes of behavior and such extremes of judgment, it shocks me that we act so surprised with the state of our world health and communities. Where is all the aggression coming from? What has been suppressed?

Being a man comes with certain power and responsibility. Being a woman also comes with equal power and responsibility. They need to look different between man and woman. This implies each couple may look different than another couple. It does not even assume that this applies to heterosexuality. The essence of the arrangement is the acknowledgment of the first two principles. This includes communication, understanding differences, non-judgment, sexual fulfillment, and active responsible fantasy life; all of these things creating a well-rounded, vibrant, confidant, and decisive member of our world. Gives me goosebumps; don’t you?

In Summary

With healthier identities, honest non-judgment communication, and great sex and fantasy life, our inter-personal relationships would improve. This would naturally progress to an outward ripple improving family health, stronger communities, and I would suspect world relations.

We need to educate our young, be more honest (most likely more to ourselves), demonstrate responsible behaviour, accountable for our choices, and show how healthy we are as sexual human-beings. Our children would grow-up, still with much freedom, as responsible, knowledgeable, and wiser adults making smart personal choices. What more could a parent ask for?

All of this may sound idealistic, and while I may say, “yeah, I can see how that sounds. I feel idealistic sometimes too. My cynic always yelling in the background. As you’ve had, I have experienced enough positive in many situations, opposite of those times when all hell was breaking loose.” So what are we really hiding?

Love is the first item at the top of the list, as it always seems to be a central core to what gets discussed. However, this gets to it from a different angle. Your worth fighting for.

Love starts at home, we all know and understand this, even if we don’t all come from perfect homes. Heck, as adult parents, we judge ourselves pretty harshly too. In spite of all the failings and misery, we have it in us to overcome and still love them, accepting what is and that we will never change them.

Love starts at home wants you to look closer to home. If all the money in the world evaporated, the buildings, the cities, the conveniences, and all the things we identify ourselves with, what’s left? What home remains that you still occupy no matter what is happening, or where you are?

Love starts at home is starting with you. You are worth fighting for.

When things aren’t always going right, and you’ve become accustomed to bridging peace, or any other behavior that allows you to remain in a place that is unhealthy for your well-being, or your growth, you’ve got to start at home. The change happens, you reach in so you can reach out; in healthier ways.

Just a little random thinking tonight.

The Secret, The Power of Intention, Think and Grow Rich, and a myriad of other top-selling spiritually-minded self-help books send off a vibe that life is easy. Well, they don’t say it directly, however, as an audience we hear all the promises for potential and miss a good number of the steps necessary to get to that state. Let me explain.

Earlier in my life, I recognized the hardships, endured, and grew strong. Leading into adulthood, this strength brought me through more challenging times of change that were lived more like an adventure. Somewhere in the mix, after about a decade, a series of painful life incidents saw a carefully crafted life and lifestyle begin to whittle away. This time, I did not recognize the hardships, I did not endure successfully, and I did not grow strong. Quite the opposite felt to be happening.

Fast-forward through nearly a decade of soul-searching, spiritual-seeking, attending religious gatherings, reading self-help voraciously, and desperately trying to make sense of these circumstances, situations, and reactions that I encountered. My perspective, my viewpoint, was clouded by the emotional fog that I was now creating. This is losing your mind.

You see, the mind is your most powerful weapon, and your awareness must harness that mind’s power. Otherwise, your emotions run amok with your mind, and your mind runs amok with your emotions. A vicious cycle begins. Once you notice it, focus it again to the task: challenges, problems, opportunities, and how to overcome.

If you’ve been struggling, don’t expect what ought to be natural will be easy. You will have to work for this. I am.

more on life, emotions, and harnessing the mind coming soon

Many things have been coming at me from all sides recently. Getting my feet under me in a new position that is ever-changing, growing, evolving, and equally confusing at times. With one positive change another follows and an upturn in my social life takes off. And yet, at the same time, other stresses are interfering. My observations are saying many things.

If you ever caught a wild creature to keep in a cage, you will have noticed the lack of life and increase of fear in the animal. An embattled human struggling for survival through illness, divorce, death, financial difficulties, etc., are often prey to that animal response.

Leaders would do well to increase freedom and to be clearer about boundaries. Freedom creates growth, creativity, and individuality to shine. Boundaries represent clear communications around expected deliverables, budgets, any specific directions. In other words, the key ingredients that will ensure the employee’s success.

Credit companies would succeed far more if they invested in collaborative solutions to assist troubled debtors before it becomes a serious issue that burdens the courts, political system, accountants, collectors, and debtors. Why care about the debtor? Successful solutions enable and empower a debtor to dig out of a hole that health, career, or relationship could have helped dig.

Anyone collaborating in business would do well to notice that both sides are investing something of equal value. Themselves, and their time. From that standpoint, a commitment to each exists that ought be respected for the duration. This respect will ensure all fairness from both parties.

We all would do well to do better. And I sit here wondering how I’m doing.

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I should be in bed. Instead, I connected online to my boss, Riel, a guy I really like. Liking people, for the most part, comes pretty easily. Then we get to know each other and the like-factor diminishes. It might catch you off guard to hear this, and if you consider it you might recognize how new people drift out just as quickly when the chemistry doesn’t jive. This isn’t always apparent immediately either. Sometimes, we grow into situations – emphasis on grow[th].

What About This 4:30 A.M. Nonsense?

I don’t know exactly. There is a liberated sense to life, and working with the team I’m involved with. These are good things. Tonight, I had an appointment for a massage with a beautiful red-head, with a wild mane of hair. The massage did wonders for my back and shoulders. Coming home, I Skype the Boss, and sure enough he’s at work. We have a good supportive chat into some wee hours while doing some review. As well, my Mojo is back!

Yeah, But still, why at 4:30 A.M.?

I’ve been coming back Alive lately. Ironically, I don’t have to move far either. Instead, a lot of the aliveness is created through online activities while sitting at my computer intot he wee hours day and night. Yes, I get out and do coffee, meet friends, and go to work. But I have faithful hours spent in front of my home computer continuing to connect to many people all over the world. The phenomena is called social media networking. More on this another time.

So, I get home at 11:00 P.M., grab a bite to eat for dinner, check in with the Boss, we hammer some stuff out, and I finally say, “My cat wants you to go home, find your cat, and take a time-out.”

He says, “good plan,” and we’re almost done. There’s always one last exciting thing to share. Now I need a few minutes for myself.

Check my email, I’ve got to keep up. If it gets out of hand, it will be a landslide! A lot of new relationships formed over the weekend. It’s so much fun! I enjoy meeting these wonderful people, and yes, a lot of them are also women. What are the odds? Flirt, flirt, you’ve been Poked! And they’re all so intelligent, witty, passionate, and alive.

Life and Love need room to breathe and this exchange of flirtatiousness is a clear sign of the human soul wanting to burst from its cages and breathe oxygen once again! So what are you waiting for? Go on and Poke someone!

I saw this video today, following a weekend coaching seminar, and the effect of the video was pronounced with more meaning considering the seminar’s explorations.

As I look at the inspiration and ideas that have brightened my eyes over the years, there have equally been many dark storm clouds causing me to batten down the hatches instead of venturing into the unknown. These storm clouds are creations from my own mind, fraught with worries, fears, rationalizations, explanations, and other insidious suggestions that robbed meaning, adventure, and growth from my life.

Luckily, there have still been many choices made that have been rich with adventure and experiences that, even if painful, have fulfilled with meaning, adventure, and growth. I still don’t know that I’d take a leap like this, and yet I can see the glorious thrill of taking risks and living life exuberantly from the example these daredevils display.