“Do you suppose there is any rhyme or reason to any of this?” Dweedle-Ant posed.

“He He He! Of course, Mant! Of course! Just take a look at that cute little heiny and tell me that ain’t no reason. That’s a reason!” bellowed and guffawed Sext-Ant.

“Sure, if all that matters to you is thorax and antennae, Perv!” stated Iman-Ant. “Of course there is a point to it all, Dweedle-Ant.”

“Each and every one of us is a piece of a larger whole. The whole is the colony. While a colony can continue without us, it is no longer the same colony. The whole keeps changing, and yet, it depends upon us for its own existence. It is the nature of Life. Before the flower came the bud, before the bud came the stem, before the stem-the roots, before the roots-the seed, and after all is said and done, all that was the flower is returned to multiple seeds. These seeds varying in the sum totality of the experiences in the journey of the flower’s life.”

“So, you see, we don’t know and experience the future now. We pour ourselves into the now, knowing that a future self that is the sum of everything before (self-included), and aspires to even greater, will have more of the answers than we have now,” finished Iman-Ant.

Sext-Ant yawns and exhales, “Well you mucks can do whatever you want, or believe whatever you want. Me? I’m just going for more T & A, baby, T & A!” And sauntered off with a howl that dwindled to a chuckle.

Wow! They’re not much different than us, eh?

At first, I thought it was a form of extreme cynicism. I was really annoyed nowing that being cynical is, in a way, being highly aware that the world we have evolved in is quite senseless at times. Being cynical means using dark humour to put in our face that this world is a total mess!

Right from the get-go, I started to elaborate on my own theory about this brand new disease that I just discovered. I understood that we finally came across a subtle strategy to neutralize the informers. From now-on, the rebellious would be labeled as sick. I couldn’t be more uncomfortable with the idea.

That lead me to reflect upon the fact that I knew that a child presenting bad behaviours, acting-out, or even violent outbursts, was often a child refusing to endorse the dysfunctional dynamic of the family. Contrary to what we generally believe, the child who is acting-out in such a manner is the one who is healthy! He is simply resisting his toxic environment.

That reflection echoed my own theory. Moreso, labeling cynicism as a disease was, in fact, a confirmation that this world we live in is truely incomprehensible, revolting, and toxic in so many ways. Consequently, people with a general sense of lucidity would therefore be diagnosed and medicated. Wrong target, but easy and disruptive target, worth getting “out of the way.”

All these reflections upon the subject were getting me nowhere but straight to craziness! This is when I picked up a book about mental disorder and here’s what I found:

“Sinistrose: A mental disorder displayed by a victim of a car accident or workplace injury. The victim is totally convinced that he/she is incapable of any kind of work, and therefore refuses to recognize that he/she is cured. The person presenting this pathology is amplifying the harm done to him/her (often in good faith) and in doing so, is inhibiting his/her good-will.”

(((sigh)))

Translated by : The author

Edited by : Lee Down

Anyone with a vision for their life must recognize that many qualities and actions are required to achieve that vision. All to often in our modern society we seek instant gratification as we’ve become accustomed to a consumer marketplace. Regardless of these conveniences, a seed of an idea holds tremendous potential when patience, perseverance, and action steps are applied over a period of time.

Set-backs are often a common experience along the path toward goals. Some would see it as a ‘sign’ not to continue, others see timing play a role, and still there will be those who will persevere through the obstacle. Is there a right way, is there a wrong way? When do you know when to quit?

A vision is a tremendous vehicle for growth. From the vision, map out a plan starting with the obvious. As you move along the path, new information, insights, understandings, and ideas will shape and form more detail and direction for the path toward an evolving vision. Clarity in action seems the best way to see this.

Timing along any journey has a lot to do with many factors.

• Are all the pieces in place?
• Am I personally ready for the challenges ahead?
• What else must I learn to be equipped?
• Do I have the right people around me?
• Are they in the right place and right time yet?

Whatever journey you are embarked upon, realize that it is only through step-by-step perseverance that you will get anywhere.

• Set-backs are part of the course.
• Resistance along the path is to be worked through.
• Not all obstacles mean no, not all obstacles are obstacles.
• Perseverance is your best friend.
• Vision is fuel for the end-goal, short-steps to smaller goals satisfies thirst along the way.

There are those of us in life who must learn things the hard way.

“Hello, nice to meet you.”

No matter the reason, my being senses and feels things beyond what my mind accepts. It raises questions for me. Often they are questions that raise my own eyebrow at my sanity. Yet, the question remains with me until I find a way to satisfy the need to know and understand.

Know and Understand

To know and understand is a basic human driver. We all want to know others and be known – in short, to connect. Questions, valid or not, represent a disconnect for the individual distracted by them. Asking, even without verbalizing, creates a series of situations in life that focuses in on giving the answer.

But I’d be so focused on the question, where I expected the answer to come from, that I’d often miss the clues and opportunities as they arose.

Bad Things Happen to Good People

Drown
Originally uploaded by Martin Kingsley

We’ve all expressed this at some point. If you’re asking the question, “I want to know” about certain things in life, don’t be surprised to have some Lemony Snicket series of unfortunate events. A recent major blunder in my own life clearly demonstrates this fact.

Careful What You Ask For

A burning desire to know and understand can cause one to leap before they look. Wanting so badly to know the truth, to understand the sensory information, to gain a perspective on meaning, and how to handle or cope with certain experiences often initiates conversations that might otherwise be left alone. You ask that question, you will likely get your answer, but you may not like the experience that answers the question.

A Personal Example

Personal relationships and business relationships are two very different things for many people. For others, they come at everything in life the same. This fact does not matter, it is what works for people and the choices they make. However, in retrospect, conversation and focus do matter.

Lines of Communication
Originally uploaded by Martin Kingsley

Venturing from the business conversation to personal conversations ought not be a problem, though it can, and is a problem for people who tend to fumble personal relationships in spite of their good intentions.

‘Hi, nice to meet you.’

I wanted to know and understand something so badly, that I came right out and asked directly. Sometimes this can be a good thing, and yet wisdom will often just want you to wait, watch, and learn. In this case, I was forcing the issue, wanting to gain a level of freedom from my own bonds of misunderstanding. In this case, I got my answer, quicker and more painfully than I’d have preferred.

You Don’t Always Get What You Want

You always get what you need.

At this juncture, learning the hard way came about with badly fumbled personal and business relationships. It was born upon my own burning desire and curiosity to know and understand. It didn’t get a direct answer in response, instead it received a practical lesson of immense proportions that smacked me into the middle of next year. I didn’t like the outcome, and would have missed the gift I was given, had I simply focused on the injustice of what I thought went wrong.

Get What You Need

I got what I needed all right. And it hurt.

When I realized that I now understood the answer to my question(s) – it extends beyond this instance in time – I also realized that this individual did answer my question. I laughed at the irony, and humbly wish I’d had the wisdom to know this sooner, and more importantly, become more comfortable in the wait.

Take Your Time

Grow Trees
Originally uploaded by Thiru Murugan

Answers don’t always come directly from the people you ask the question. Quite often, the universe and events that transpire will answer those questions for you. Press hard enough though, and the people you are trying to get the answers from might react in such a way that you do learn, with unsatisfactory results. Take your time, observe, watch, and learn, and what you need to know may come to you.

Nature doesn’t rush cycles of growth. Learn to observe, being a little more detached, and enjoy the show.

I was asked if it was okay to use a service in a way to further a mandate even if they weren’t meeting the criteria. This related to a specific program meant to help people in need, which guided my answer.

If another Living Being is compromised or hurt in any way by our actions, then it is the wrong choice. This is integrity.

“Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.”

Lord Shiva led the Swami to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the Swami looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the Swami’s mouth water.

The people sitting! around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The Swami shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

Lord Shiva said, “You have seen Hell.”

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man’s mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The Swami said, “I don’t understand.”

“It is simple,” said Lord Shiva.

“It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.”

From the archives October 12, 2004
it doesn’t matter what your challenge is in life, the same principles apply.

As children, hearing the fable of the pot-o-gold at the end of the rainbow, we were relentless in pursuing the rainbow. We were always sure that sooner or later we would find that pot-o-gold. Whenever we chase a dream, moving to a new city, a new country, taking a new job, stepping out as an entrepreneur, we are often times expecting to find our pot-o-gold. Unfortunately, life has a funny way of disappointing our dreams and disrupting our plans.

When things don’t go our way we begin to feel vulnerable. At times, we might revert to one of our childhood tendencies to feel that the world owes us a better result. I’m often disappointed that this is not the way the world works. For many years I have supported immigrants in their transition to Vancouver as well as other unemployed individuals seeking entry to the workforce. Many have demonstrated the most charming and wonderfully optimistic personalities. Over time, with unmet expectations causing so much disappointment, I’ve seen them succumb to despair, negativity, and a belief that something is wrong with whom they are as a human being.

The reality of these situations, and these people, is much different from my perspective. I see them for the wonderful person that they are and I do recognize their value, their history, their culture, their dreams, and their ambitions. Arriving here from another country, now in Canada, a land full of opportunity and a new way of life, so many dreams are born. Knowing the skills they bring with them, they expect there will be little problem finding work in their chosen occupation. As they forge into their job-search and seek out employment, they meet much disappointment early on. Rarely does this deter them in the first six months. But as times goes by and success is not achieved at the level they had expected, optimism falters.

Having spent so many years working in the employment services industry I can also see why so many experience what they perceive to be failures. There are as many reasons as there are personalities that experience these setbacks. The common elements often seem to relate to communication of the spoken language, lack of cultural communication – the unspoken language – and unrealistic expectations. The last item is a hard and bitter pill to swallow but it is not just immigrants that suffer here. Unrealistic expectations are also what affect so many Canadians.

When English is your second language, more time and effort must be focused on polishing your communication skills. You see, in the business world, as you’ll recognize from your own country as well, much communication occurs in the unspoken world of social and cultural norms. This not only requires the study of language but also the study of culture. Why do people behave the way they do in Canada? How do Canadians interact in office settings? Why are there so many differences from one place to the next? Why are men behaving the way they do towards women? Why don’t Canadians come right out and speak more directly? Make it a study and discover the nuances that will enable better success in the business world.

Foreign education meets much resistance in some industry areas and in others, must be strictly controlled where lives, law, and specialized knowledge of Canadian standards are required. There is still a long way to go before your experience and education receives the credit it is due here in Canada. For those whose experience can permit quick access to work here you probably wonder: Why are we so slow in recognizing your education and experience? I don’t know but I don’t want you to dwell on that either. Instead, accept “what is” and move forward with an action plan to overcome all of the obstacles preventing you from achieving the level of success you experienced back home. My favorite example is a friend of mine that I met at school. His wife was killed in a civil war and he moved here with his children. He was a mechanical and structural engineer back home. I’ll call him Stan.

Stan arrived here with low expectations. He knew it would take time to regain the level of professionalism he was accustomed. He set about looking for work that would enable him to learn what he needed to know to become an expert here as well. For two years he worked on the shop floor as a machinist. Learning, studying, practicing, and all the while he continued to do the other things with studying and applying for accreditation through the engineers association. He set goals, plans, and put them into action and two years to the day, he was invited to the front office to begin working on plans. This was what he did back home. Now it was just a matter of time before the rest of the pieces fell into place. Stan knew that it would be no easy ride. He set about finding alternative routes to reaching his goals. He didn’t settle for a job in a gas-station or a grocery store. He got involved with his industry at the bottom and worked his way up. He paid his dues. He was recognized. He was given a chance. Had that chance not been given to him, his plan included a contingency to leave after two years and seek out another position at a higher level. I would encourage you to read his story again and again. There are a number of important lessons that can be applied to your own struggles and your eventual success.

Disappointment is a common companion to the journey in search of the pot-o-gold. Getting discouraged and disappointed is normal. Feeling sad and angry is common. These unwelcome emotions are normal for anyone experiencing minor transitions in life, let alone major transitions. The emotional journey to this country and trying to establish a new life can really take its toll. If you let it control you and you begin to feel that you are the problem, you will surely undermine any chance you have for success. So simply put, I want you to know, don’t OWN any of the negativity that will come up. It will come up. You will experience many negative emotions. It does not mean that you are the problem. It means that you are struggling with disappointment. It means that you are human. Remind yourself often of the goodness that is in you, the capabilities that you have, and that you are an intelligent, able individual. Often times, our patience wears out before the goals are achieved.

Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to achieve their goals. If you were a lawyer, doctor, or another specialized profession, there are limitations to performing the same work here in Canada. It’s understandable when lives, safety, and public policy are at stake. There is much to learn and it may require much more than you are willing to invest. What are your alternatives? What are your goals? What else can you do? What are the skills that you’ve developed that you can translate into a new career? Pick something that suits all of who you are and pursue it with a single-mindedness that would drive your friends crazy. You’re starting over from scratch. Expect the worst and work the hardest. It will improve. Don’t give up.

Nothing in life is easy and many people, Canadians and immigrants alike, find themselves picking up the pieces of their life and starting over. Whenever you feel sorry for yourself, don’t blame, just accept. It only is what it is. You are human and like others on this planet, you’re feeling sad and hurt. The world isn’t out to get you. It only feels that way. But as with many immigrants I’ve met who have had remarkably positive can-do attitudes, you will make it and you can too.

As children, often times when we chased the rainbow in search of the pot-o-gold, it wasn’t the pot-o-gold that we found. Some days we walked home disappointed but most of the time we had many wonderful adventures and made other discoveries along the way. So keep your eyes open and your heart light; it improves your vision.

My heart and best wishes to all of you.

Is Life possessive?

Consider the idea, the thought, and the implications from a variety of perspectives. See what happens, or shows up.

Life is to be lived. Worry kills life. Love inspires life. Anger, it may be a disguise for love, but the only reason you site in anger is you fear going to where love wants you to go.

Attachments are deadly.

Being attached to people is sure to lead to disappointment.

Being attached to ideas is sure to witness a personal destruction.

Being attached to a vision is sure to lead to failure.

Attachment is irrelevant, you see? Attachment is the thing that you and I have been using all these years to measure and validate our own self-worth.

Did it matter? Does it matter? With everything attached before, did any of it help? Did it hurt worse when it left? How many of those attachments are still with you?  You gotta let go!

I had a friend.. maybe I still have this friend, at this point, I just don’t know.

Attached to intellect. Convinced it’s not ego, or shall I suggest ego has convinced that the mind is free from ego. Attachments though, are so easy to see. Projections… mine, his.. whose?

This is a free-flow conscious-thought/feeling mix. There are ideas to be teased, explored, shared, and to know more.

What could you add, express, challenge, or question? Let’s dialogue a bit.

Suddenly, some limitations came into existence. Continuing to grow and mature, I learnt to reason and apply my own critical thinking to situations that may or may not happen. I was creating a new reality within the context of my mind and my past experiences. The horror!

Now, with another level of awareness that has developed, the spiritual awareness, it’s like walking the tight rope between this world we live and work in, and the uninhibited freedom of a child at play. There is something more to this experience of life. We are not just conditioned beasts of labour and love. We are not just confined to living a life sentence in suburbia. There is, and always was, so much more available to us. It exists everywhere, including suburbia, at work, in the mundane, at the most extraordinary and ordinary. The only way I can explain the discovery is to dance.

One day hopeful, the other day destitute, one day in love, the next day hateful, one moment playful, the next moment serious, and one day success, the next day failure. We’re constantly moving and changing. The only constant is the silence, the stillness, the quiet place deep inside where spirit connects spirit. We feel it in the closest moments of intimacy with family or significant others. It is experienced in the greatest profound moment of joy and all words, all senses, all comprehension has escaped us. There is nothing left to figure out, there is only to forget.

Everyday we would do well to forget many of the happenings of our yesterday. No bias, no fear, no limitations, no expectations, just wonder. Wonder and curiosity accompanied by joy and love. This intrigues me greatly. How would tomorrow look? How would my world interact? This ideal leads me to believe that more is available for all of us. As an idealist, many things I say may seem unattainable. This is the peak possibility, of that there is no doubt. While the ideal is beautiful, any measure or occurrence of that ideal is welcome; a grain of salt to flavor each day for a fantastic experience of life. Each day, I need to be that grain of salt too, and dance!