After naming my business One Man Can many years ago, I would frequently hear the challenge from a woman: “What about a woman then?” Of course, this is when I reminded them that this was my business, and my mantra, the reason behind my passion, and would tell them a bit of my unbelievable story about the day this name took root. Never did it end in dispute, and I always acknowledged even so that woman do make all the difference.

Keeping this measure of the story simple, the simple acknowledgment of the woman’s gift of child-bearing is the reason we’re here; that and the milk of life at her bosom in our infancy, and from her heart throughout our lives.

One Man Can Welcomes Annie Veillette

Annie Veillette is a woman that does make all the difference along the path she walks. An avid artisan, passionate lover of the arts and fashion, a gifted thinker / writer, on the verge of multilingualism, and also setting herself apart as a gifted and challenging Life Coach, Veillette has collaborated on a number of projects and vice versa. Recently exposed to the translation of some of her writing, One Man Can opens the door to the idea of adding more voices and perspective for the audience.

I encourage you to get to know Annie and her world. Her gifted artwork is a treasure for many. Her love for the arts contributes enormously to exposing new talent. And her ability to coach people is a gift of life to many who are struggling to find their path and live their authentic truth.

Visit Annie’s Profile on CoachesXL to see more about her, and keep an eye out for her upcoming contributions to One Man Can Human Capital Development & Coaching site.

Along the seeker path, a strong desire builds to experience peace as a continual state. A common error often occurs, whereby the initiate seeks to choose their environment, thus beginning to shut out perceived negative energies from their experience in order to create more peace in their life. I won’t say this is wrong, it is a step along a path.

Along my own path, I was in the same place five years ago and struggled to engage with the world with my business, and control my environment at the same time. Rarely would the two meet. Something persistently irritated me. Part of this irritation came from a sense that I was missing something very important in what I needed to learn about being at peace and functioning in this world.

I’d like to say the understanding came easily and quickly, however that wasn’t the case for me. Instead, I experienced more hardships and obstacles than I can shake a stick at. Each event pushed me deeper into crisis with what I truly desired. It wasn’t till one day of complete surrender to the circumstances I had unwittingly created that I “Let Go” of trying to be in control and have all the answers. On that day, I agree to “Be With” and “Move Through” the events life brought my way.

This turning point was only a beginning. More resistance and perceived negativity persisted as I endured the challenges of being in a world that did not resonate with the experience of peace that I longed for. Along this journey, facing each obstacle and working through it, thus moving through it, and discovering a new perspective upon the power of choice, patience with the process of life, and seeing the ’silver-lining’ in experiences that otherwise be seen as negative, a deeper wisdom sets in as understanding and acceptance is gained.

The process of life has always contained conflict, internal and external. It shapes and moves things, both inside and out. It sheds the old and makes room for the new. It creates pain as wounds are lanced, and expresses joy at new-found freedom. The duality, contradictions, paradoxes, and enigmas of life are embraced as the whole, and we become more whole, now truly walking upon a path to be the change.

It’s okay to trip, get up, dust off, and start walking again.

Man Who Waited

He heard what he had to do. The suggestions came from all over, offering direction and insight. You see, he was after something important in his life, even though he couldn’t quite put his finger on exactly what. He had a general idea, it was just the specifics of it that killed him.

There have been times when opportunities to take a course of action radically different from the past have presented themselves. Remarkably, there have been a good number of times I’ve taken that radical path. Equally, there have been a remarkable number of times when I have not taken that radical course of action. I’m sure that somehow the pro’s and con’s sort themselves out.

All the same, in the current pain of the game, there are those definite moments of looking at hindsight and realizing just how much more could have been gained with a specific choice or two. Ah, but we can’t turn back the clock can we? No, we can’t.

So, in all this wisdom, why is it that when new games of adventure, learning, and growth do come up, we tend to keep putting off the little things until we get everything right? I’ve been doing that forever now in some areas of my life. What I’m learning is that it just doesn’t work that way. Observant to the lives of those around me, and whom I serve, I see the same too.

Months go by, and in spite of repeated hand-holding attempts, one client did not take action. Months later, on a wing and a prayer he is doing everything he can to finally learn steps that could have made an enormous difference  to where he finds himself now. It’s what I’m learning too. Why wait? Take action now.

Small guys, hard work
Originally uploaded by Javier Kohen

A challenging year of growth started with the witnessing of a software tool that showed great potential for my own business. Given the nature of my history and talents, I was able to offer my services which in turn led to full time employment.

Over the course of the year, I encountered incredible situations that challenged me. There were many moments of doubt about the choice I made. Regardless, pivotal conversations revealed time and again that an underlying belief in the concept, the potential, and the people, continued to strengthen my resolve during each challenge.

Another individual warned upon leaving of the battles I would face, and the perspective they shared was one of supporting a false potential. I understood the perspective, particularly given my own struggles of belief during that time. Even so, something about the statement felt false. Today, the falseness revealed with clarity that I was right to stick with it through thick and thin.

Regardless of the outcome yet to be seen, the results to date are a direct result of the effort put in to achieving goals. Even the ambiguous goals are a beacon in the distance when charting new territory. New territory is sometimes with technology, new processes, and such externals. It’s important to recognize how much of this new territory is internal. If I’m pushing myself forward and up in life, greeting challenges and expending effort to overcome, to push through, to grow, then I will experience much new territory.

The falseness, you see, of the statement about supporting false potential reveals one’s own inner value and belief. Of what? Of themself? Regardless of the externals, and the potential that lies there, whether people, opportunities, processes, or products, the end result is always a direct outcome of the effort sustained by belief, choice, and hard work. I guess in the end it depends upon how much you’re willing to carry, and for how long.

The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going. – Napoleon Hill.

I enjoy the Napoleon Hill expressions myself and regularly get a daily dose. This one stirred more in me than expected, as often does a lot of phrases of advice that are well meant and often incomplete.

While I cannot at all disagree with this expression, the nuance within the phrase suggests what I’m about to say has merit. To merely say the world makes a habit of making room for the man who knows where he is going, also leaves room for when the world does not. Habits are imperfect, both good and bad.

However, there is always room when a man knows who he is, and more importantly, holds him in good stead regardless of outcomes. Every person who makes a choice endures or enjoys the effect their choice caused. At the same time, choice is merely being accountable to own that decision, so when other variables, or our own error, results in failure, we are able to be empowered through it rather than victim of it.

There is always room in the world for a man who knows who he is.

Business trends have always swung extreme-to-extreme in conduct, behaviour, and strategy (or tragedy). Human Capital is always the bottom-line for every transaction and reason for being. Losing sight of this creates all sorts of havoc in social spheres and financial spheres. Examples of short-term thinking losing sight of the long-term impact.

A quick buck is seductive, and the market has driven itself to producing a consumer that throws away and buys replacement so that our markets can sustain themselves. Don’t get me started on explaining this – it’s a sore point – as our once ability to adapt and repair has been reduced to throw away and replace, regardless of the expense. Our attitude toward material objects spills into our relationships with people.

In any sphere, as in every business, people make the machines go. We buy, we sell, we make, we serve, we support, and we create. It is in doing all these things that we also provide a basic human need to interact; to know others and to be known. Loyalty, service, value, and earnings are all directly tied to our value upon the human capital, whether serving the company, or a customer of the company.

Whatever it is you are selling, understand some basic principles.

• Relationship: Invest in your relationships on a personal level. Build a commitment to them so that they will engage in return. Don’t worry about the dollar value, worry about the relationship value. Investing wisely will yield tremendous Return$.
• Freedom: People are free to choose and you desire the same freedom of choice. Provide and offer your customers freedom. Whenever they hesitate, offer an alternative. Always focus upon filling their need first. Once they’re committed, the relationship will offer the right up-sell.
• Change: The Top Dog isn’t the Top Dog forever. There is a natural evolution with everything in life. When more choices hit the market, the consumer base may disperse a little or a lot. Always be ready for change, always enable movement and supported change. The more you empower your customers choice, the sooner they can return as you adapt and change too.
• TurnOver: Why are Dynamic websites the most successful, and the way we continue to go? People need stimulation, change, growth, and more. It might be a little more frenetic than is healthy, and it is what it is. Facilitate change, bringing new talent, creativity, and ideas to the organization. At the same time, empower departing talent with the support to transition successfully. Paths may cross at new levels again. As the Culture of Society shifts, so does the culture of the organization.
• Adapt: With life continuing, adaptability, growth, flexibility, learning, change, empowerment, etc., are all encouraged in an individual. As it is in an individual, so it is in an organization. Allow the creativity of life from all fronts be brought to bear upon the marketing efforts, etc. Sure we don’t fix what ain’t broke, but we don’t let it die a slow death either.

You’ll have noted this encompasses an attitude that fits Life, Business, human resources, customer service, etc. If there were a word to describe it, it would be FLOW, the ability to allow Life to move in and out of your grip. Trusting that Life would replenish as she does with the Seasons, and that every up and down is an opportunity for change, improvement, empowerment, and success.

Keep tweakin’!

Tensions run high amidst people sometimes. Being a new body among established people’s relationships is a hairy ordeal. Tonight, a big realization came to light around a deep need that has been burning up my energy through tensions, stress, worries, suspicions, and fears. Normally, these would be manageable and not cause much problem; in this case, existing circumstances did a lot to add to the mess.

One person says something out of turn. It’s tone, delivery, and perceived intent is to warn not to trust someone. On the one hand, this might save from disaster, while on the other hand, this casts doubt on who to trust. This is bad medicine for any organization or team, and must be addressed decisively. Not to kill, martyr, or make examples. This is where the realization of what has really been troubling me suddenly revealed its’ source, value, and desire.

Base-brat growing up, a short military stint myself, and having lived pretty-much from one coast to another in some fashion or other, coming to new communities and trying to “connect” in social groups has been nothing short of painful. Social groups – you know – those little cliques we all had with our friends growing up. When we were with them we followed along, we teased, and sometimes bullied physically. I had to learn to fight back. I never liked it.   Still don’t.
Fighting back is a necessary skill in life. It is a skill that can be robbed of any child or youth – to some degree or another.  When a Father decks you for defending yourself, with the promise of more for any further fighting, you replace your fists with feet in running shoes. The tragedy here is that as an individual in this life, you no longer know who you can trust. The one you ought to trust didn’t protect, and also took away your only form of defence. The one’s chasing you, are ignorant to what they are doing, even though some will fight with a conscience.

I’m sharing this with you tonight because it is critically important to develop a good team. People need to be able to trust one another. I need to know you’ve got my back. You need to know I’ve got your back. When rumour, accusations, and ambiguity arise – particularly for any new staff – and there are no avenues of clear and safe conversation, the sense of safety and security in the new environment gets stretched thinner and thinner with every twist or phrase that could be taken out of context.

Create that lack of safety, create more highly-attuned-and-overly-sensitive people who are on high alert and jumping at every alarm. Having a teammate throw me to the wolves as a scapegoat, having heard a rumour, having circumstances and events create and add to that uncertainty has demonstrated this fact loud and clear. Create a team where everyone truly creates that safe place to screw up, fix up, contribute, speak up, ask dumb questions, and not get laughed at, and you’ll create a powerful and creative unit that can function at higher peaks of concentration, effectiveness, and efficiency.

The military and a few other groups I was privy to join demonstrated strong examples of safe teams and leaders as described. Equally, I’ve experienced the opposite spectrum and some in-betweens, too. Again, communication has always been the key. Sometimes, listening and hearing the tale underneath the reasons reveals a lot of ghastly thoughts regarding misunderstood circumstances that simply needed to be aired. Too often, our defences prevent us from hearing and bringing a relationship closer, and we drive it further apart.

Ironically, creating that safe place to sit and talk, to listen and hear, to discover and build is the very thing we all long for in our heart. To become ALL that we can be, to Be All that we Are: It is to give and receive in such a way that every need is met, and lives are fulfilled. Instead of harbouring uncertainty and ambiguous or nebulous angst, it is given voice to be blown away by the wind of forging a relationship of value. Foundation set, the future rises more powerfully.

From the archives October 20, 2006 

I’ve been much busier lately. I’ve been getting out more, experiencing more, working more, and enjoying the ride. As a coach, I’m challenged to create my life daily rather than just go about life’s repetitions every day. Going about life’s repetitions for over a decade led to me waking up one day wondering, “How did I get here?” I hear similar views and feelings from many people. I read about it in the papers, see shows that reflect a similar reality, and meet folks at the coffee shop lamenting the same meaninglessness. Meaning in life is important. Rather than talk about meaning and purpose today, as I’ve usually done in the past, I’m instead going to talk about creating my life daily.

As I said, I’m a coach and one would expect a coach to have their shit together or to at least know their shit. A pun or two inadvertently enjoyed there. Now some of you are chuckling and yet, I wonder how many of you are also surprised to learn that a coach has problems? Well, again this would be a matter of perspective.

My business history involved problem-solving and creating and managing change, and these were two of the most common themes and talents I exercised naturally for more than a decade. I was good at what I did and I was good with people. I never saw what was impossible and only focused on what is possible. I rarely took ‘no’ for an answer and frequently inspired other’s perspectives to find the solutions. This is where a problem perspective has the opportunity to transform into seeing what is possible. This is a crucial moment of recognizing the power you have with choice. Choice has less to do with outer outcome or circumstances and more to do with inner being.

Being at choice is important to creating my day. Each day I wake up knowing what I don’t want via past experiences. This allows me to reframe the ‘don’t want‘ into a powerful positive ‘want‘. Stating verbally what I want energizes and strengthens the ownership I have for creating the life I desire. It’s useful to be specific as possible and yet, without data we have little information to be specific with; worse still, with bad data – bad experiences – we have incorrect or incomplete data to state what is wanted. Nonetheless, this exercise opens up power, choice, and possibility for what is to come on this day.

Embarking upon the journey today, I welcome each and every experience and social interaction. Where situations offer it, I am able to articulate and reframe where necessary what I do or don’t want in a given area of my life. Without specifics for what I do want, I may substitute the tangibles with intangibles; qualities that will satisfy my inner spirit. This exercise, being new in action or objective, may require some blind groping initially that are full of intangibles; until enough experience has yielded the information that allows you to clarify the tangibles. This is the art of creating your life.

It is knowing that you are at choice at every moment of every day. Even a non-choice is a choice. Every mistake or bad experience is useful information that offers insight into right action for future choices. Again, knowing that you are at choice allows for mistakes without self-blame. Instead, mistakes are met with gratitude and embraced to enact change that will bring about more positive experiences. Where the future cannot be envisioned, I can project my want with intangibles such as joy, fulfillment, love, or whatever other descriptor that will shift my energy to focus on the power of wants rather than the negativity of ‘don’t wants’. Then I enjoy the journey and the process and embrace the natural unfolding of me and my life. Do we ever stop learning about ourselves?

Try using any combination of the following to help you create your day:

What do I want?
What don’t I want?
Repeated intentionally: What do I want?
What is my passion?
What is my purpose?
What brings me joy?
What causes me to forget the time?
What do I want more of?
What do I want less of?

State as often as possible what I want.
Notice what I’m doing and how or who I am being.
Notice qualities, traits, characteristics, etc. about self and others.

Observe my beliefs and emotions:
Are they serving me?
Am I serving them?
What is it costing me?
What am I saying Yes to?
What am I saying No to?

Be courageous.
Be gentle.
Be patient.
Be love.

Many things have been coming at me from all sides recently. Getting my feet under me in a new position that is ever-changing, growing, evolving, and equally confusing at times. With one positive change another follows and an upturn in my social life takes off. And yet, at the same time, other stresses are interfering. My observations are saying many things.

If you ever caught a wild creature to keep in a cage, you will have noticed the lack of life and increase of fear in the animal. An embattled human struggling for survival through illness, divorce, death, financial difficulties, etc., are often prey to that animal response.

Leaders would do well to increase freedom and to be clearer about boundaries. Freedom creates growth, creativity, and individuality to shine. Boundaries represent clear communications around expected deliverables, budgets, any specific directions. In other words, the key ingredients that will ensure the employee’s success.

Credit companies would succeed far more if they invested in collaborative solutions to assist troubled debtors before it becomes a serious issue that burdens the courts, political system, accountants, collectors, and debtors. Why care about the debtor? Successful solutions enable and empower a debtor to dig out of a hole that health, career, or relationship could have helped dig.

Anyone collaborating in business would do well to notice that both sides are investing something of equal value. Themselves, and their time. From that standpoint, a commitment to each exists that ought be respected for the duration. This respect will ensure all fairness from both parties.

We all would do well to do better. And I sit here wondering how I’m doing.

Yesterday I shared a significant insight from my own journey. It’s interesting to note that often a powerfully resistant question crops up almost immediately.

“What do you mean?”

It is a powerful disbelief because this realization places even more responsibility on my doorstep than I had otherwise felt real. This is where the sh1t has to get off the pot.

I’m shaken to my core, fully recognizing and not wanting to look, that I simply had to choose. Even in not choosing, wanting to keep the peace, or compromising for meaningless reasons that had nothing to do with me. And yet, they had everything to do with me. I chose NOT to be who I am, pursue my dreams, or whatever other sob story I might have adopted at some chapter of my life.

Inside my body a turbulence is felt, like moments before stepping out on stage for a Grade 3 Christmas recital, or whatever it is called these days. I’m queasy, uncertain, struggling, faltering, stumbling, and crumbling at any moment of any day while faced with myriads of choices that I previously refused to entertain. Why? I wasn’t good enough, deserving enough, capable enough, strong enough, and on, and on. I have done this, on and off, during my life. Maybe we all have. I don’t know. If you’re reading this and nodding your head, then good, we’re not alone.

Now all I have to do is manage the thoughts. However, something about my sensory experience adds a potential complication. I feel things and those feelings often create thoughts. It doesn’t always happen, or more accurately I choose not to pay that close attention to them. For example, I felt my stomach drop out of me (you know the sensation?) and asked the woman about her experience while she was on the phone. It was confirmed that my experience matched hers at the exact time. I haven’t discerned what to do with this talent and curse, other than to run from it. This, too, was a mistake.

The only way is to stand, to be counted, to step forth, to be curious, to be joyful, and to explore life. This starts with trust; trust in myself and in the divine magic of life that exists of its’ own accord. Science can even acknowledge that.