I’ll be honest with you – for years I’ve struggled with getting the results I wanted. I tried to go after my goals – starting a business, increasing my flexibility, learning tumbling many times, all of which led to failures. I don’t know anyone else who is not able to do a proper back-handspring after trying to learn it for five years. It wasn’t fun, but it got me thinking – what was I doing wrong?

Many things, actually. Let me share my insights on one of them.

Getting attached to your story slows down your progress dramatically
It’s very good to have a strong mind and be persistent, but ignoring reality is not the way to go if you want to get results. People often get attached to the idea how things should be and they are not able to see that their understanding is completely out of alignment with what is actually happening. Believe me, this is happening way too often without us even noticing it.

• People stay in dead-end jobs because they simply refuse to let go of their hopes that it will lead somewhere.
• People try the same approach to losing weight (which is usually drastically reducing food intake) which lasts a few days and brings no results. It doesn’t occur to them to test a different approach.
• People stay with boyfriend or girlfriend who is clearly not their dream partner because ‘someone’ is better the no one. Instead, they stay miserable themselves and torture the other person by trying to mold him or her into what they want.

Does any of this sound familiar? I thought so.

The problem with being delusional is that you don’t know that you’re delusional – you think your mind is crystal clear, when it’s actually working to create more illusions in order to cover holes in the previous one. How can we break out of this vicious cycle? There is a method, but before trying to apply it, we need to learn one important thing – accept our own mistakes.

There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes
When we are kids, we don’t worry too much about making mistakes – we are too focused on exploring the world to be bothered by small things like that. We are perfectly fine with the fact that we don’t know everything and that we are just learning how things work. However, once we get older, this attitude starts fading away and by the time we reach adulthood it’s almost gone out of our minds. Exploring the world is for kids. We are grown-ups, shouldn’t we know how things work by now?

However, once we strip away social conditioning and our own arrogance, it becomes clear that this idea is completely irrational. When we are getting older, we are constantly encountering new challenges – we need to learn to support ourselves, build a relationship with our significant other, get our own place to live, start a family, raise kids, let them go once they become adults, retire. Process of constant change and growth doesn’t stop as long as we breathe. Isn’t it stupid to think that all our assumptions about things that we haven’t experienced yet will turn out to be true?

Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how well we are doing something, there will always room for improvement. Often people get upset when they realize that there’s a better method of doing something; that means their original approach was wrong. It’s not like that, though. You might have been running your business efficiently, but someone might give you an idea how to do it even better. It doesn’t mean that you we’re doing something wrong before – it’s how the process of progress works.

In order to get better results and get them faster, we have to accept that making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. Once we realize that making mistakes doesn’t make us bad people, we won’t feel the need to deny them. This realization alone is not enough, however, since beating ourselves up is a very strong habit. We have to take action by doing reality checks and tweaking our approach according to the data we have.

Gathering metrics
It’s great when you have a teacher who can give you reliable feedback on a regular basis. However, most people don’t have teachers like that – many times we have to make decisions and judgments on our own. On what we can rely, though, when it’s so easy to delude ourselves? The answer is simple – metrics.

When you’re trying to achieve any goal, get into habit of tracking metrics of some kind. For example:

• When you’re working on your arm strength, write down the numbers of push-ups and pull-ups that you were able to do after every training session.
• When you’re learning a skill like tumbling or dancing, make sure to videotape your performance regularly, so you can evaluate your progress over time.
• When running an online business, keep track of visitors, conversion rates, number of sales, monthly income, etc.

Once you get into habit of tracking metrics and gathered enough data, you will be able to evaluate your situation more or less objectively and make adjustments where needed.

Tweaking
Constantly tweaking your approach is a fast-track to getting the desired results.

An example:

You run your own blog and your goal is to increase traffic. You’ve heard the idea that a good way to do it is to provide value by constantly posting in relevant forums. You’ve also heard that guest-posting is great for that too. You decide to do both – you become an active member of one or two discussion forums and you write one guest-post. At the end of the month, when you analyze your traffic data, you see that one guest post brought you the same amount of visitors as all the forum posts combined. This data leads you to a decision to drop forum activities and focus your time on writing excellent guest-posts. Result? Your traffic soars.

This approach can be applied to anything from learning languages to losing weight to improving intimate relationships. You just have to be willing to gather data, analyze it and tweak your approach accordingly, accepting that your previous assumptions were wrong and it’s time to let them go.

Tweaking must become a habit
Tweaking it’s not something that you do one or two times and forget it. In order to get the full benefit of it, you must develop the habit of gathering and analyzing data on a regular basis. How can you do it?

1. Gathering data. Decide what type of data would be most useful to you, then find a way to gather it. It’s easy with stuff like traffic information because computer does all the work, but what to do with things like dancing? You can decide to videotape your salsa performance every two weeks and then set a reminder on your phone so you wouldn’t forget it. This can be applied to anything – decide what data to gather, decide when to do it and set a reminder for yourself.
2. Tweaking. The same thing applies here – schedule a time to analyze data and set a reminder so you would remember it. Then analyze the data you have gathered and adjust your actions accordingly.

It’s very important to give yourself feedback regularly – this will save you loads of time and energy.

Final words
Tweaking might feel like a very unusual thing to do for the first few times – it might even be painful if you are very attached to your previous assumptions which we’re being proved wrong by the data you’ve gathered. Don’t worry, it will get easier over time and results will be worth it. Don’t take my word for it, though – give it a shot and see for yourself.

Written on 4/10/2011 by Agota Bialobzeskyte. Agota writes a blog, www.outsidethebox.lt, about getting different results by using different approach. Agota has studied martial arts for almost ten years; it’s no surprise that her favourite topic is applying Eastern philosophies in our daily lives.

Photo Credit: wadem

Have you ever been labeled?

Maybe your parents always said you were the “naughty one” or the “quiet one” or the “clever one”. Maybe your classmates called you a “geek”. Maybe your friends expected you to live up to a particular reputation (even when you thought you’d outgrown it).

You almost certainly have labels that you give yourself – whether you realize it or not. Perhaps you think you’re “lazy” or “bad with money”. Or you resist other descriptions – you think you could never be “musical” or “artistic” or “creative”.

The truth is, we can all change. In fact you have changed, gradually, throughout your life. You’ve probably been through times when you realized that you were capable of much more than you gave yourself credit for.

Plenty of qualities – like your creativity, intelligence, physical strength, and more – aren’t fixed. You can actively improve them, through practice, and sometimes just by changing the way you think about yourself.

Three Stories About Change
When I was in college, I got a lot of vacation time – and I wasted plenty of it playing computer games. On a good day, I managed to write a thousand words or so.

Now, I work for myself, and while I could play games all day, I never do. I often write three or four thousand words, and I’m much more focused and self-disciplined than I used to be.

This didn’t happen overnight. I gradually built up the habit of writing (and worked to break bad habits – like thinking that I needed to idly surf the net while I “woke up properly” every morning).

My change hasn’t been dramatic or overnight, just a gradual process of trying to become more and more the person who I want to be. I’m not there yet (I’m not sure anyone ever reaches that goal!) but I’m definitely moving in the right direction.

Sometimes, people change in more dramatic ways – life-changing, even life-saving, ways. I want to very briefly share a couple of inspiring stories from two bloggers who I’ve admired for a long time.

Shauna Reid, aka Dietgirl, lost half her body-weight and wrote all about it on her blog. She had a book published about her dieting journey. (Along the way, she moved from Australia to Scotland, and got married.) She’s a fantastic writer, and her story shows that you really can change your life.

Trent Hamm, who writes The Simple Dollar, was mired deep in financial problems when his first son was born. In 2006, he began a financial turnaround which led to a very successful blog, two book deals, and a much more stable life. I’ve been particularly struck when he writes about his previous attitudes to money (or other aspects of life, like leisure time) compared with his current ones: proof that you can change, radically, at a really fundamental level.

How You Can Change Too
The first step to changing who you are is to recognize that it’s in your power to change. Sure, most of us don’t change overnight – though health and financial wake-up calls can prompt sudden focused action. But we can all take steps, slowly and gradually, to change ourselves into the people who we want to be.

You might want to think about:

• Habits that are holding you back. Perhaps you keep procrastinating, or you constantly overspend.
• Lack of confidence or other psychological issues.
• Health issues – like being overweight, struggling to manage a health condition, or being chronically unfit.
• Your skills and abilities – is there something you’d love to do or learn, but which you keep telling yourself you’re not capable of?

I wouldn’t recommend trying to change everything at once. Instead, pick one area and focus wholeheartedly on improving at that particular thing. You might like to check out some recent posts on Dumb Little Man for inspiration:

• How to Prove That You Are Worthy of a Raise
• 14 Simple Ways to Convert Your Sedentary Lifestyle
• How to Curb Your Unnecessary Spending

Whatever you choose to change, good luck! You really can do it. Give yourself plenty of time, and work in small steps: this time next year, your life could look radically different.

Written on 4/6/2011 by Ali Luke. Ali writes a blog, Aliventures, about leading a productive and purposeful life (get the RSS feed here). As well as blogging, she writes fiction, and is studying for an MA in Creative Writing.

Photo Credit: Lynn Pernille Photography

There are good jobs, bad jobs, and jobs that make you want to gouge your eyes out with a soup spoon. Most of us can take the good with the bad, but when things at work are continuously awful, it’s time to start thinking about a change.

Listen, I get that we can’t all be Lego assembly testers, video game reviewers, or rock stars, but come on…how how much misery should we take before we start planning a job move?

Having been in a job I’m unhappy with for 9 years, I can certainly speak from experience when it comes to knowing when enough is enough. I consider myself an expert when it comes to finding reasons to quit.

Here are 8 signs that you need to find a different job:

1. You area miserable S.O.B.
   Now, there are plenty of miserable people in this world and there could be a million different reasons for it. However, if your job is sucking all the joy from your life and is making your and your coworkers lives miserable, it’s time to move on. Work won’t always be a bed of roses and one needs to persevere, but there are limits.




2. You dread going into work.
   Most people, if they had the choice, would opt not to go to work everyday. That’s completely normal and reasonable. If you’re anything like me, you probably try to think of as many ways you can get out of work as possible. How to you feel when that alarm clock goes off in the morning? Tired is fine; full of fear and stress is not.
3. It’s affecting your health.
   If you work with asbestos or in a coal mine, your job IS affecting your health. However, if you’re a desk jockey and are not subjected to carcinogens all day long, that doesn’t mean your health won’t be compromised. Chronic stress has some serious adverse health effects.




4. It’s stealing your dreams.
   If you find yourself settling for a job you hate, it’s time to wake up. Maybe you’re too lazy to try to find another one. Maybe you’re worried about job market conditions. Maybe you don’t have the confidence to go out and make it happen for yourself. Whatever it is, change it. Do not give up on your dreams, EVER! I am not saying to quit and then look. I am saying that you should at least allocate some time to looking for another job and then making a move when the timing is right for your family, finances, etc.
5. There is no room for growth.
   We all strive to better ourselves, or at least we should. Personal growth is something that every individual should experience. If it’s being stifled by your job, it’s time to pack it in. If you feel that regardless of your efforts and results that your current position is destined to be your only position, consider moving.
6. You know it’s the wrong job.
   When you were in high school and working at Wendy’s or KFC, you knew it was temporary. However, when we’re in the real world, we work for a living. We spend 40+ hours each week in our jobs. If we have chosen one that we know is not the right one for us, we must take action. It may take us 15 years to find the right job, but we need to find what makes us happy.




7. It’s not aligned with your values.
   Working at a job you don’t like just for a paycheck is one thing. However, when you’re in a job that is not at all in line with your values or morals, that’s a real problem. For example, I work in the financial services industry. From what I’ve seen over the last 9 years, the primary theme is greed. It’s amazing how prevalent greed is in this business and it makes me sick. I don’t consider myself greedy, so being around money hungry sharks every day is a real problem for me. If your company stands for something that you don’t believe in, it’s time to get that resume out.
8. It’s a complete waste of your time.
   Time is the most valuable commodity on earth. Yes, we all have to work for a living and that takes up our time. But, when the job we are working in is nothing more than a means to an end, it’s a waste. Go find something meaningful that will do the world some good. Be different, be bold, make a difference!

Whatever the case may be, if you are extremely unhappy in your current job, do something about it. Don’t tell me about the unemployment rate or the “security” of your job. Your daily sanity is worth more than that.

Go find something you love to do!

Written on 12/30/2010 by Steve Roy. Steve is the owner of EndingTheGrind.com, a blog about escaping the daily grind of a 9 to 5 job, building an online business, and living your passions. You can also find him on Twitter at @EndGrind.

Photo Credit: RLHyde

Let’s be honest, we all want more in life. We want more money, more freedom, more peace, and more time. In a perfect world, we would have all these things and more, but that’s just not how it happens.

Life has a way of becoming filled with “stuff”. We don’t have more money because we are stuck in a job that doesn’t pay well, we don’t have more freedom because we have to work 60 hours each week, we don’t have more peace because our lives are in turmoil, and we never seem to have enough time to get it all done!

For those people out there (I’d like to believe that there are at least a few) who are enjoying the quality of life that we all want, I am honestly jealous. Like millions of Americans, the chronic stresses of life have taken their toll on me and I struggle each day to keep myself afloat.

I know there is a better way to live; we just aren’t doing it! If we can get over the day to day grind, focus on what is important, and truly think of each day we have as a gift, then I think we have a chance to live a better life.

However, many obstacles get in our way each day and slow us down or stop us from having what we want in our lives. Here are 10 things that need to change in order for us to live on our own terms:

1. Our miserable, detestable, deplorable jobs
   If you love your job, great news. If you’re like the other 95% of the population, then it sucks. Our jobs, although we may only be there for 40 hours a week, can feel like a life-without-parole prison sentence. Like with prison, we feel trapped, hopeless, and doomed to a life we don’t want. Get out before it’s too late (easier said than done).
2. Family stress
   Having children is a true blessing and is the most wonderful thing in the world, but can also be (and usually is) the cause of an enormous amount of stress. Kidnapping, pedophiles, traffic accidents, injuries, and home invasions are all major concerns for any parent, but it’s the whining, disrespectful behavior, tantrums, hitting, and lack of sleep that really gets to us. I have yet to figure out how to have a peaceful household and therefore can offer no insight to this at all. If you have any suggestions, please, please let me know.




3. Being apathetic
   So many people have seemingly given up on ever having the life they want. Life truly wears them down and out and there is nothing but a shell of a person left. This is unbelievably sad but all too common. These folks are just going through the motions of life without any real direction, passion, or interest. Don’t be this person; there is always room for change.
4. Being ordinary
   The world needs more leaders, out of the box thinkers, action seekers, risk takers, and passionate people. What the world does not need is another average Joe living paycheck to paycheck. Stand out, be different, create something great, do something inspiring, just try something.
5. No direction
   With no goals or dreams, how can we expect to achieve anything significant? We can’t. Dream big and get big results. Dream small and get small results. Don’t dream at all and get nothing.
6. Not having passion for something
   When someone can find their real passion in life, that should be a momentousness event for them. Many people will go through their whole life without ever realizing what it is that gets their heart pumping, mind racing, and juices flowing. If you are someone who has found a true passion, live it every day, for that’s why we are all here.
7. Being selfish
   Giving something of yourself without the desire for anything in return is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Our society has taught us a “what do I get out of this” mentality which is breeding a generation of ‘takers’. What we need more of is people who truly understand the power behind selflessness. It really has the power to change the world for the better.
8. Not having a release
   With the constant stresses life places on us, we all need a release. Finding a hobby, activity, or interest can be a life saver. Take up tennis, join a local business group, or learn another language. Without a release, life will almost assuredly bring you down. The human mind and body can only take so much before it breaks down, so doing some ‘maintenance’ is essential to keeping yourself well.
9. Not bettering yourself
   Life is about growing, learning, and being a better person. Never trying to improve yourself is a guaranteed path to living a completely average life. Can anyone honestly say they want an average life? Of course not. There are a million things you can do to make yourself a better person, you just need to figure out what will do it for you.
10. Being empty inside
    If you are walking around feeling like there is something missing in your life, you are far from being alone. Sadly, many people will spend their lives feeling this way. Some fill this void with religion, some fill it by having children, and some even fill it with drugs or alcohol. Find out what completes you Jerry Maguire style and you will have a much more fulfilling and worthwhile life.

Just remember, life does not need to be a chore. It doesn’t even need to be difficult, but we are choosing to make it so every day. Make the choice today to change something in your life to improve it. I know I am.

Written on 12/23/2010 by Steve Roy. Steve is the owner of EndingTheGrind.com, a blog about escaping the daily grind of a 9 to 5 job, building an online business, and living your passions. You can also find him on Twitter at @EndGrind.

Photo Credit: Ethan Prater

It’s December again and the year is coming to an end! How do you feel? Excited? Eager to see what’s in store for the new year?

For myself personally, I love Decembers because it’s the time when I take a breather, look back and see how the year has been. I just did my year end review yesterday, and I’m extremely excited to get started on year 2011. In this article, I’ll share with you 7 powerful questions to ask yourself as you close off your year. I recommend you to allocate at least 30 minutes with yourself and use that time to earnestly answer these questions. This will be one of the most important exercises you’ve ever done. Here they are:

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with 2010?
   This gives you a quick snapshot of how satisfied you are with this year. 10 is the highest, and 0 is the lowest. Interestingly, this number can give you a lot of insights.
2. Why did you score that way?
   For the score you gave yourself in Q1, why did you assign that? I believe it’s more important to understand the underlying drivers of the situation, rather than harp on the assessment itself. For example, if you gave yourself a score of 3/10, why did you give a 3? Is it because you feel that you neglected your relationships and health in pursuit of your work? Is it because you didn’t go all the way in achieving your goals? Write them down.
3. What are your biggest accomplishments this year?
   Accomplishments here refer to any results you are proud of. It can include business achievements, career, relationships, health & fitness, and more.

   For some people this question can be confronting, especially if they have been living on auto-pilot. Yet it’s extremely important because it makes us take a cold, hard look at how we’ve been spending our time. Did we put it to good use? Have we been working on our Quadrant 2 tasks? It helps us sieve out the unimportant and zoom down to what matters.

   When I first asked myself this question years ago, I had trouble coming up with meaningful answers. It made me realize that the bulk of my achievements that year were for my employer, whereas I had done nothing for myself. It gave me a wake up call, and from there I became a person on a mission. I became in tune with my personal dreams in life, and I was singly focused on bringing them to life. I knew in my heart of hearts that I want to help others grow and be their best selves, so I worked in that direction. In less than a year I had shed away my previous job and was pursuing my dream. By the next year, I had already turned it into a real, full time career. This year is my 2nd year and it’s my best performing year yet. This happened because this question made me conscious of what I wanted to achieve in my life.

4. What are the biggest lessons you learned this year?
   Out of all the things that happened this year, what are the biggest things you’ve learned?

   In life, we have countless experiences, and there are things to be learned in every experience. We can either let these incidences pass us by, or we can stop to understand, internalize them, and draw lessons from these experiences. When we do that, we literally become wiser than we were before. We can then use these important lessons and apply them to new situations we face.

   Since 2006, I took to the habit of writing annual reflections. Writing them down helps us to stack our lessons through time, so we can build upon our wisdom, rather than relearn the same things. This way, we can advance our growth much faster.

5. What are your biggest goals that you want to achieve next year?
   Alternatively:

   * “How can you make next year your best year ever?”
   * “If it’s now Dec 31 of next year, what do you want to see in your life?” Then, set these as your goals.

   What does it take to make you feel a 10/10 satisfaction level at the end of next year? What goals do you want to have achieved? What dreams do you want to see fulfilled? Write these goals down and set them as your key goals for the next year.




6. What new habits do you want to cultivate?
   Successful goal achievement come from having the right habits. What new habits do you want to cultivate? The most popular ones for me every new year include meditating, exercising, waking early, sleeping early, drinking plenty of water a day and more. When you practice positive habits, you naturally become a better person.




7. What are your immediate next steps to achieve them?
   It’s not just about writing, but about doing. Now that you have written your intentions for the new year, what are the immediate next steps you’ve to take to achieve them? What do you have to do to get the ball rolling? Write down specific dates to the actions.

Here’s an important tip – get started right away. Get a head start even and do them before the new year comes! You’ll feel ahead of everyone. I’m now already planning out my February-March plans for my blog and it feels great knowing what’s ahead! Do that for your life and you’ll immediately see the positive difference it brings.

Share Your Reflections!
How are your year end reflections? How do you feel about this year? Why? What have you learned? What are your biggest goals for the next year? Share with everyone here in the comments.

Written on 12/22/2010 by Celestine Chua. Celestine writes at The Personal Excellence Blog, where she shares her best advice on how to achieve personal excellence and live your best life. Get her RSS feed directly and add her on Twitter @celestinechua. If you like this article, you will enjoy one of her top articles: 101 Things To Do Before You Die.

Photo Credit: boetter

Oh to be agile, and not just in the sense of physical agility, although that would be nice too. The sense of agility that I’m referring to is, the ability to change focus, change the direction of your life, quickly and with as little impact on your life as a whole.

Being able to quickly change direction, refocus, and get back on track are key qualities to establishing agility in your life. By being agile you’re better able to act on ideas, opportunities, and you can quickly start taking these ideas forward. But this is easier said than done, right? How can we become more agile? What if what it takes to become agile isn’t immediately obvious to us?

I have a few ideas that can help you get started on your path to being more agile in your life.

1. Non-attachment
   Imagine you have an idea you’re working toward or a goal that you’re striving to complete. You put the blinders on and become so focused on that one thing, you hang all your hopes and dreams on attaining it that you miss all the other opportunities that have come your way. This usually translates into you not being willing (or able) to change directions or look at other opportunities as having potential because you’re so focused on getting to that one ideal you’re so attached to.

   Strict attachment to ideas and things, not only leads you to unhappiness, it also prohibits you from changing directions and simply going with the flow. As a result you’ll likely miss out on a lot of great opportunities along the way.

2. Be open minded
   This is an extension of non-attachment. Once we let go of this one perfect idea we have for our life, we’re more open to accepting other ideas and other directions that may get us somewhere even more fulfilling, better or safer. To be open minded you need to be willing to listen to people and hear out ideas that may initially make you shudder, chuckle or roll your eyes. If you’re open-minded enough you will be able to take in the information, mull it over in your own head, research it and evaluate it and only then make a decision on it. By dismissing things too quickly simply because they make you uncomfortable or maybe you just don’t know enough about it, you just might be missing out on some great opportunities.




3. Make many little changes and put them out there
   The thing many of us (myself included) get hung up on is perfection. We keep things hidden behind closed doors, because we’re not ready to put it out into the world. We’re not ready to let others see it and judge us based on what we’ve put out into the world. Well the sooner you realize that nothing is ever perfect the better off you’ll be. I would strongly urge you to try working towards “good enough” as opposed to “perfect”.

   Work on little functional changes at a time and release them as quickly as you can. You will have more agility if you are able to change direction quickly based on immediate feedback from your customers, family members, or co-workers. Waiting until you have everything “just so” is okay but what if it’s not what everyone else wanted? What if the desires of everyone else have changed? What if one little thing sparked another train of thought that results in you having to throw out half of what you’ve already completed and start over to get to where everyone wants to get to now? Release little changes as quickly as possible and seek feedback and suggestions along the way.

4. Embrace change
   Change can be very scary for some people. Some people enjoy feeling comfortable and secure and really count on the predictability of each day. If you are one of these people, that’s fine but to be more agile in life or at work, you need to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and embrace change. This won’t happen over night, it definitely takes time but it can be done.

   Start small and jump at every opportunity for change that you encounter. Like anything else the more you do it the more it will become a habit and the more successful you’ll be at embracing change. By not fighting change and instead embracing it processes are more likely to be improved and productivity and efficiency improves. Start today and take initiative to make deliberate changes to your life, your family and your situation as a whole.

   Being agile is a great thing and it can result in a much richer and more interesting life. You will be better able to cope with (and circumvent) road blocks or obstacles that inevitably find their way onto your path. Being agile can help you keep a competitive edge and allow you to make decisions quickly and respond in a timely manner in any circumstance.

Are you an agile person? What other ideas can you think of that could move people to becoming more agile in their life?

Written on 12/16/2010 by Sherri Kruger. Sherri writes at Zen Family Habits, a blog celebrating all things family. Sherri also writes on personal development at Serene Journey, a blog dedicated to sharing simple tips to enjoy life

Photo Credit: Thriving Ink

Are you trying to cultivate a new habit? Are you having trouble being consistent with this habit?

Our habits determine our quality of life. This month I’m doing group coaching with my readers, and I was intrigued to see that many of them have goals to cultivate new habits this month. They include very useful habits like:

• Meditate every day
• Exercise 4 times a week or daily
• Reading a new book a week
• Waking up at 6am every day
• Sleeping before midnight every day

Many of them have been meaning to cultivate these habits for a while, but have not been successful.

I realize that many people have difficulties making new habits stick and it doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve cultivated numerous new habits, some of which require big changes, such as switching to a vegetarian diet and exercising every day. By taking conscious actions, your habits can easily be a part of your life. Here’s 6 simple tips to make that happen:

1. Know why you want this habit
   Why do you want to cultivate this habit and what does it bring for you? Some of us may want to cultivate habits like meditating daily and exercising daily, but why exactly do we want to do that? If you don’t have a clear reason, it’s not going to happen. For example, I switched to a vegetarian diet because I wanted to have higher mental clarity and have a cruelty-free lifestyle. I’m passionate about these reasons – having a higher mental clarity helps me to think clearer, while a cruelty-free lifestyle is in line with my personal vision. Because of that, it was extremely easy making the switch. While I hear of many people who tried to go vegetarian but failed after 2-3 weeks, I switched and never looked back.

   Identify the biggest reasons why you want to cultivate this habit. Think about what it helps you to achieve once you successfully make it a part of your life. Think about what it can give you that other things can’t. Write down these reasons.

2. Try it as a 21 day trial
   Some of us might get overwhelmed with cultivating a new habit because it’s something we need to do for life. What if you just need to do this habit for the next 21 days? Suddenly it doesn’t seem so challenging. Most of you will think: “21 days, hey I can do that”.

   Why 21 days? Research has shown 21 days is the time it takes to make or break a new habit. Also, by focusing on a shorter time-frame, it helps you focus your efforts to make it happen. Once you successfully cultivate the new habit at the end of the 21 days, suddenly it’s very easy to continue what you are doing. Hence, don’t think about doing this forever, but rather just think about doing it for 21 days. If you like the habit at the end of the period, you can continue; otherwise you can ditch it. It’s a win-win, no lose situation!

3. Make time for it in your schedule
   Slot in your new habit in your schedule. If it’s not in your schedule, you’ll likely leave it as the last thing to do in the day. Chances are by the end of the day, you’ll be so tired that you’ll leave it to the next day instead. In the end the cycle continues tomorrow and you’re going to end up not doing it at all. On the other hand, if it’s in your timetable, you’ll be reminded about it every time you see the calendar. You’ll also know not to schedule other activities during the time.

   I schedule my jogging sessions every morning, from between 5-6am. A big reason is because I like the coolness of the morning, whereas it can be quite hot to run in the afternoon. It’s also great to start the day with a great workout. Since it’s set at the time, I know I need to wake up at 5am to get it done. In any event where I’m unable to do it (say when it rains, or when I wake up later), I’ll reschedule it to the evening. That way, I can still make it happen even if it doesn’t happen the first time round.




4. Identify reinforcing habits
   Our habits do not exist in isolation; they are interlinked with one another. For example, waking early and sleeping early are related, while exercising and healthy eating are related too. This is why it can be tough to cultivate a new habit, because other behaviors are reinforcing it. What are the habits related to the one you want to cultivate? Remove the habits that do not serve you, and replace habits that help you.




5. Preempt things that can go wrong
   If you’re cultivating the habit for the first time, chances are things will go wrong. Too many things happen every day for everything to happen according to plan. The key is preempting these problems and coming up with solutions beforehand so you can immediately overcome them when these problems crop up.

   For example, a big obstacle that I experience with my daily exercise goal is that it rains frequently in Singapore. Because of that, I can’t go jog, since the running track does not have a shelter. In the past, I would give up my exercise session, and this marks the start of a chain of days where I skip my exercises. My thinking would be “Since I’ve already missed it yesterday, doesn’t matter much if I skip it today” . Learning from my past experience, what I do instead is I do a combination of resistance exercises and aerobics at home. This keeps up with the momentum.

6. Track your habits
   Track your habits! When you track your habits, you’re more motivated to keep on track, since it’s a form of accountability to yourself. There are some great habit trackers you can check out below:
   • HabitForge – Tracks new habits through a 21-day period. If you miss the habit for 1 day, it’ll restart.
   • Rootein – Unlike Habit Forge, here you track your habit continuously regardless of whether it’s missed or not. It has a mobile version so you can track your habits on the go.
   • Joe’s Goals – Same as Rootein. There’s an option to place multiple checks on the same goal for extra-productive days.

   You can also use the traditional method of tracking – pen and paper. Simply draw a simple chat with the 21 days you want to cultivate your habit. Then, once you complete the habit for the day, put a tick beside it. As you see more and more ticks, you’ll be inspired to continue with your progress, and before you know it the habit is already part of your routine!

How about you?
What new habits do you want to cultivate? How can you apply the tips above to make your habits stick? Share in the comments area below!

Written on 12/6/2010 by Celestine Chua. Celestine writes at The Personal Excellence Blog, where she shares her best advice on how to achieve personal excellence and live your best life. Get her RSS feed directly and add her on Twitter @celestinechua.

Photo Credit: ? Redvers

There are so many things I want to do in the short time I’m here. Some of these things scare me, some will challenge me and others are just plain fun.

Unfortunately, life is very short and the older I get the quicker time seems to pass. I’m quickly realizing that I probably won’t fit everything in. So how do I choose? How do I pick which things to go for wholeheartedly and what things to leave to someone else?

It comes down to a simple question: “When I’m 80, will I regret __________________?”

The blank could be not doing something or choosing to do one thing over another. It’s a simple question and it comes in really handy.

Next time you find yourself struggling over whether or not you’re going to do something ask yourself that very question: “Will I regret this decision when I’m 80?” If the answer is no then go ahead with your decision. If it’s yes think about how you can make it happen or stick it out until you’re done.

Life’s too precious to have you get all the way to the end and say “damn I should have done that when I had the chance” or “I really should have let that go” or “I can’t believe I didn’t take the opportunity when it was presented to me”.

Live your life to your best capability. Here are a few areas that you could try to challenge yourself in. Some of these you may have thought of yourself, some of these will be new but what I hope is that it gives you a push to do more and be more with the life you have left.

1. Work
   Have you ever changed jobs? Have you thought about changing jobs? How about your career? The possibilities are endless when it comes to how you make a living. Maybe you’ve toyed with the idea of becoming an entrepreneur and working for yourself. Will you regret not giving it a chance? Or will you regret going for it?
2. Food
   Have you been eating the same food for the past 20 years? Have you always wanted to try something new but haven’t got around to it yet? Are too afraid to try it because “Oh I don’t like chickpeas”. Go out on a limb and give it a shot. Get a cookbook full of exotic recipes and work your way through it. Make a point of going to different types of restaurants when you go out for dinner.
3. Exploration
   Do you spend most of your time in the office only to leave your chair to travel back home again where you sit down, watch TV, and “relax”? Try getting out more. Turn off the TV and get outside. Go on a walk or a hike or a drive. Is there somewhere local that you’ve never been? Too often we see a lot more of foreign places than we do of our own back yard.
4. Risk
   Like to play it safe? Worried about things going wrong? It’s been my experience that everything always works out. Try something risky like changing careers or quitting your job and working for yourself. Pick up and move half way around the world and see what it’s like in another culture, another country or another hemisphere.




5. Doing something crazy
   Walk home in the rain in your business suit. Join a polar bear club or sing along with a busker in the streets and see what happens. Be a back up dancer at a karaoke bar. There are a lot of crazy things you can do. Keep it clean, be respectful and I’m sure you’ll find you get a burst of energy and excitement from doing it.
6. Being nice
   Do something nice for someone else out of the blue and just because. Don’t expect anything in return. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, donate food and toys to an animal shelter. Plant an extra row of vegetables in your garden and donate the produce to a charity. We all think we’re nice people but actions really do speak louder than words. Think about it.




7. Quitting something
   We all know that when we say yes to one thing we are saying no to something else. If that committee you’re on isn’t providing you a sense of fulfillment or accomplishment as it once did, quit. Quit the soccer team if it’s no longer fun, quit grad school if it’s no longer what you want to do. Quitting is usually seen as a negative thing and to be avoided. However, being deliberate and thoughtful in what you are resigning from will open a large chunk of time that could be better spent.

There are a lot of areas of our lives that unless we really take time to think about them we keep with the status quo. Living life on auto-pilot can be boring and may lead to a life with relatively few rich experiences. I have made it my mission to live deliberately and with purpose so I can look back with, hopefully, no regrets. So far so good …

Written on 11/21/2010 by Sherri Kruger. Sherri writes at Zen Family Habits, a blog celebrating all things family. Sherri also writes on personal development at Serene Journey, a blog dedicated to sharing simple tips to enjoy life

Photo Credit: Pierre LaScott

Have you ever wanted to do something different but stopped yourself because you knew nothing about it and had no idea how to move forward? Of course! We all have.

Many people have dreams and aspirations to fulfill, but they are intimidated by their lack of knowledge. Because of that, they halt in their tracks and stick to the things they do know. Many of my clients and readers often approach me saying they would like to pursue a certain passion, such as being a writer, starting a business, becoming a chef, creating a clothing line, and so on, but they aren’t doing it because they don’t know what to do. That’s a pity because it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s a matter of taking the right steps and actions to get started.

In this article, I’ll share 6 things you can consider if you’d like to tackle something new but aren’t sure how to get moving.

1. It doesn’t matter if you know nothing
   This isn’t a specific action but a belief to be addressed. It doesn’t matter if you know something or nothing. If you have a goal, you set it and you go out there and get it. As simple as that. Knowing nothing should never be a reason for not pursuing a goal, unless you don’t even want the goal to begin with. After all, all of us once started from a position of knowing nothing. Think when we were born and we were babies. None of us knew anything then. It was growing up that we acquired the skills and knowledge.

   2 years ago I wanted to pursue my passion to help others grow. At that time, I didn’t know anything about the personal development industry. I didn’t know anything about how to create a popular blog, or what life coaching is about, or what it takes to be a good trainer or speaker. Yet, it didn’t stop me from pursuing my passion and creating a 11,000 subscriber blog today. It didn’t stop me from coaching hundreds of smart, talented clients to success or speaking to thousands in workshops and seminars. Knowing nothing doesn’t mean you don’t do it. It simply means that you just need to learn it first.

2. Read up about the topic
   I did a lot of reading when I first started out in ’08. I read Problogger and Entrepreneur’s Journey on how to create a popular blog. I read Copyblogger to learn more about writing good content and articles. I also laid my hands on the best selling personal development books to learn more about the topic. I did this intensively for a couple of weeks, which equipped me with a whole wealth of knowledge on how to get started.

   I had a participant in a workshop tell me that he wants to be a better networker, but he doesn’t know how to get more information on how to. That shouldn’t be the case! There are so many books and websites out there today that you can easily read up about just anything you want to. Some places to start with – Google, Scribd (some great ebooks are listed here), blogs, your local library, workshops and seminars.

3. Create a plan to start off
   After I did the research, I created a plan on how I was going to move forward. My end goal to create a top quality personal development blog, with important resources to help people around the world achieve their highest potential and live their best lives. I had a 5, 3, 1 year outline, and a rough 6 month plan on what I was going to do and the milestones to achieve. My personal 5-step goal achievement framework, ESPER, was critical in bringing my goal to life.

   I found from experience that you should just plan whatever is necessary to move forward. The objective of a plan is to empower you, not to hold you back. Some people let themselves be paralyzed by the whole planning process. They keep planning, and tweaking, and planning, to the point where they never take action at all. That shouldn’t be the case! Just plan to the extent where you’re comfortable, then get started.

4. Study people who have already made it
   There are so many people around the world that there’s bound to be someone who’s already doing what you want to do. Look out there and identify the people who have already succeeded in this goal. Then, learn from them. Study what they are doing and how they are doing it. Because they’ve been doing this for longer than you have, there will be something valuable to learn from each and every one of them.

   When I first started out I spent a lot of time studying the bigger blogs, understanding . Even today I continue to do so for both the smaller and bigger blogs, since there’s always something to learn from everyone. Everyone has incredible ideas to share; it’s a matter of whether you’re able to learn from them.




5. Consult people who have achieved the goal
   If possible, connect with the people in #4. With the internet, it’s easy to reach out to such people. Drop them a friendly email to say hi and to express your intentions. If they don’t reply, that’s okay; if they do, then that’s terrific. As a matter of practicality, A-list folks are usually busy and unavailable, so try the B-list or C-list folks, who are very knowledgeable and more approachable. (By A-list, I refer to the best people in their respective fields.) A great way is to arrange for a lunch meet-up (if they live in the same country as you), get to know them better, then treat them to lunch as a thank you. Some of them have services you can sign up for, which is a sure way to get to them. Of course, only engage their services if you find value in them, and not just to get air time.

   For myself, I find that doing steps 2-4 are more than sufficient to get me started (step #6). I see step 5 as a bonus step, but not the determining one, since you shouldn’t depend on others to help you (after all, they have their own responsibilities and projects). When I first started, I connected with a few other personal development bloggers, whom I continue to stay in touch today as good friends. They have been very helpful to me, and in return I try to help them out where possible too.

6. Take the first, immediate step
   Read all you want and plan all you want, but if you don’t take the step, nothing will ever happen. It’s only when you take action that your goal will begin manifesting itself.

   Don’t worry about getting it right. As long as you do something, you’re making more progress than doing nothing. Even if you do it “wrongly”, you still get to learn from the experience, so it’s still a gain. For the goal you want to achieve, think about what’s the immediate thing you can do that will move yourself forward. Do it. Then, repeat the process. If you keep doing this, you’re going to be closer to the goal than before. It’s a matter of time before you’re living and breathing it. I know, because that’s what happened to me. Through consistently taking steps every day, today I’m proud of what I’ve created – my blog, my highly supportive readers, my coaching and training business, with many more great things to come in the future.

How about you?
Which tips can you use to get started? Do you have any tips of your own on getting started on a new goal? Feel free to share in the comments area.

Written on 10/15/2010 by Celestine Chua. Celestine writes at The Personal Excellence Blog, where she shares her best advice on how to achieve personal excellence and live your best life. Get her RSS feed directly and add her on Twitter @celestinechua. If you like this article, you will enjoy one of her top articles: 101 Things To Do Before You Die.

Photo Credit: John_Marshall

Walk into any bookstore, and you’ll see shelves full of books about personal development. You’ll know the titles of some classics, even if you’ve never read them: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Getting Things Done, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway … and loads more.

You’ve probably read some of these books, or at least come across major personal development ideas in magazines or online. If you’ve been reading Dumb Little Man for any length of time, you’ll definitely have soaked up a lot of great personal development advice.

You might even spend time every day reading personal development blogs and books, or listening to audio.

But … are you wasting your time?

Just Reading Won’t Get You Far
When you want something to change in your life, it’s tempting to look for a quick fix. And books can promise a lot – with titles like I Will Make You Rich.

Can they really deliver?

Yes – but only with a bit of work from you.

The problem is, many of us find that simply reading about personal development gives us a little boost. We read 7 Habits and we feel like we’ve done something productive … but we might not quite make the leap into actually doing something with what we’ve read.

Have you fallen into this trap? Do you find yourself buying book after book, or reading blog after blog, hoping that this time, you’re finally going to find that secret which will help you change your life?

The problem is, you might never find it. Because unless you’re engaging with what you read, nothing is ever going to be any different.

Do You Really Want to Change?
It’s a tough question, but it’s an important one to think about. Do you really want to change?

That might seem like such a no-brainer. Of course you want to get out of your dead-end job. Of course you want to lose weight and get healthier. Of course you want to quit smoking.

The thing is, whenever you change, you’re also giving something up. To get out of your dead-end job, you’ll be leaving behind your familiar daily routine. To lose weight, you’ll have to stop eating so much junk food.

Plus, change can take a lot of energy and dedication. You might have to do things which are hard or scary – like going back to college, facing up to someone, or tackling a big issue in your life.

If you’re not ready to change your whole life, that’s okay. Instead of focusing on far-off dreams, start smaller with your personal development aims. Maybe you’d like to eventually move into a new career – but for now, a good start is tackling your procrastination habit.

Taking Action
I’m a firm fan of good personal development books, blogs, audio programs, seminars and so on. A great writer (or speaker) can open your eyes up to new ideas, give you just the advice you need, and genuinely change your life.

The problem is, most people don’t get as much as they should out of the material they read.

It’s very easy to nod along in agreement with a writer or speaker. You might feel inspired or even determined while you’re reading – only to end up forgetting all about those insights you had.

To help yourself take action:

• Get clear about what you want to learn or change. You’re probably not just reading a book or blog post out of general interest: there’s a specific situation in your life where you want to improve something. What’s your goal?
• Choose good material. Ask friends to recommend their favorite blogs or books, or check out reviews on Amazon. You want solid content and a style which makes it easy for you to read.
• Read with a notebook in hand. Jot down questions which occur while you’re reading, or any new ideas or insights. Make a particular note of anything you want to try out for yourself – a new way of managing your time, for instance.
• Set aside time not just to read but to act. Try writing down one to three steps to take every single week, based on what you’ve been reading.

So – you’ve just read this post. Don’t let it be yet another piece of good advice that you promptly forget: instead, take a minute now to figure out what you’re going to do differently next time you pick up a personal development book.

Written on 10/10/2010 by Ali Hale. Ali writes a blog, Aliventures, about leading a productive and purposeful life (get the RSS feed here). As well as blogging, she writes fiction, and is studying for an MA in Creative Writing.

Photo Credit: RLHyde